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Do People Dream of Electric Sheep

I see my dreams in a crystal bowlThey are the reflections of  thingsBoth weird and strangeI have dreamed of dinosaursStepping out of Petri dishesAnd foetuses swimmingIn formaldehyde;Of dragons flying
In misty skies;Of space litteredWith human detritusI have dreamed of warsThat have threatened to engulfThe world  we knowInto a vortex of hatredVery often am IIn the company of relativesLong since departedFrom their earthly abodeThey look youthful but at most timesAre silent and judgementalAnd seem to be telling meThings with their eyesI sometimes have wingsWhich enable me to flySometimes my feetAre as heavy as leadI move in strangeAnd unfamiliar worldsThe likes of which I've never  seen beforeEven the daysAre tinged with darknessAnd have this intangible feelOf other worldlinessMonsters creep outOf murky watersAnd bats paint the skiesWith stygian darknessSometimes there are messagesWhich - when decoded - revealSecrets of my   frailties,And deepest desiresAt other times they revealThe darkness of fearEmanating from the deepestCaverns of my mindI  have absolutely no ideaFrom where these dreams comeBut they seem to rise up
Like the mists of timeOne  thing for certainThey have given to meIs a life that runs parallelTo the one that  I know  

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Jacob

17 years 11 months ago

I like the title

Philip K. Dick great writer. Some nice images here, however I don't think the poem flows well at all some lines seem clumsy to read you use some great words but there placement makes it a bit disjointed in places eg. Formaldehyde, detritius, and stygian throw the lines out a bit. But then maybe that was the point the disjointed structure like how dreams are never seemless. Some of the enjambments are a bit awkward as well, which is a shame as some of your images are hard to follow and lost because of it. Jacob
L

leonard daranjo

17 years 10 months ago

Hi Jacob

Thanks Jacob for the input. Would love suggestions from you on how to improve the flow. Warm regards ... Leonard
infinite_dwarf

infinite_dwarf

17 years 11 months ago

Nice!

Was instantly captivated by the title, and felt I needed to read further. I liked the interesting things that you dreamed of. Good thing they were dreams, and not real life visions, otherwise I would have asked you to share whatever you'd been smokin'! Nice write here! ~Jess K. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "You name me, entertain Thoughts of peace can overcome anything Mirror spins; wicked tales Here lies reflections of, deceptions of...." - Overjoyed (Jars of Clay)
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leonard daranjo

17 years 11 months ago

Hi Jess

Thanks for reading and commenting and for making me smile - the "smokin" bit. Warm regards
P

purplemoondoll

17 years 11 months ago

Great Imagination in this

Great Imagination in this poem. It made me smile and took me somewhere very special. There were a few lines that I felt could use a little tweak - I have dreamed of dinosaurs Stepping out of Petrii dishes And foetuses swimming Out of formaldehyde; I love the imagery but felt it could read a little more smoothly like this? I have dreamed of dinosaurs Stepping out of Petri dishes Foetuses swimming In formaldehyde See what you think - there were some other lines I felt vould use a little tweak here and there too just to help it flow a little more smoothly - you may hate the suggestion, so please ignore if you do. I love the theme and the title. Thank you for taking me into the dream - this was a very enjoyable read. Kaz It's impossible to smile on the outside without feeling better on the inside.
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leonard daranjo

17 years 11 months ago

Thank you Kaz

For reading, commenting and of course your suggestions for improvement. It is most welcome. Yes I agree with you - I think the "Out of" replaced by "In" definitely sounds better and gives a better image. Why didn't I think of it? I shall make the change. Thank you for the suggestion. If you have any more, I shall really appreciate it. In the meantime, I shall go through the poem and see if I could improve on it. Thanks once again Leonard
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poewriter58

17 years 11 months ago

Leonard

Excellent and Bravo This is an awesome piece of work. My theory our dreams come from deep withing they are not another world nor separate entity nice writing here. Chrystalie
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rider68

17 years 11 months ago

Great Ammendments

Hi Leonard The previous comments have helped you shape this into a fine writing, great reading..loved the depth within the imagination, Best Regards Peter ~~~~~~~~~Creativity Is to think more efficiently~~~~~~~~~~
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Synchro

17 years 10 months ago

This is a very thoughtful piece

and has the appropriate "kicker" at the end, to grab us. That parallel universe has long fascinated me, whether it be one in dream, day dream, fantasy, or actuality...it has to be there. Yours in peace, (Cynthia McKinney for president) Synchro
themoonman

themoonman

17 years 10 months ago

Leonard...

dreams have long since been the mystery of the mind... I'm sure it will continue.. many an invention have come from dreams also, thanks for sharing yours... Richard