Sonnet 5

I like this style, the rhyme and rhytm. Great poem! Cheers!

Shall not be straight against my lonely swords. From sin to death, from grave to stormless minds These lines and the opening line are absolutely brilliant. The rhyme, rhythm and flow are spot on for me - a very enjoyable read with some great imagery. I look forward to seeing more of your work. :-) Kaz It's impossible to smile on the outside without feeling better on the inside.

Another great piece from you. Everything fits together nicely in this one - rhyme, rhythm, etc. Definitely worth reading more than once. one common error, "lay" should be "lie" - lay is a verb used with an object, such as "lay the book on the table" while lie is used without an object and defined as resting in a horizontal or flat position It's one of the most common grammatical errors, which is why it gets my attention as I read. Nothing else to change here! Best, Ronda

Excellent job here. Everything that's been said is accurate - and would love to hear this one aloud. Congrats on spotlight. ~Jess K. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ~ "The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." - Thomas Jefferson ~ "Tonight's forcast: dark, continued dark tonight, turning to partly light in the morning..." - George Carlin

on Spotlight status! Great work! ~ Ronda

As a lover of Shakespeare's sonnet form, I like the sound and craftsmanship here; but I can't seem quite to grasp the poem's meaning.

The opening lines have an imagery so rich i really like them just to quote the first 2 lines as an example, however the poem has no narrative or the better word to use really is meaning , now even though i see this i do this in my poetry all the time, so yes i am a hyprocite-One reason i do this ie: write poetry without meaning is that i find it extremely hard to write a poem with meaning i can not find a subject for example- i have been told by a poet who works for cultural affairs abroad British Council employed, that if a poem has no meaning you can not engage the reader-Now I'll let you into a secret you engaged with me, i really enjoyed this poem ,though to read a poem that is rich in imagery says something that has a subject of interest for me( for example how a spinster on a psychiatric ward moves on her way to the dining room)does give me the reader a clearer image-STILL ENJOYED THIS POEM THOUGH PLEASED TO MEET YOU-

Know i have written all that above i read your poem again and thought what superb rhythmn this guy has it it absolutely spot on ,if you were to have a subject would it be harder to accomplish the 'flow'? excuse my spelling i am semi-illiterate-Regards once more

Know i read your poem again and enjoyed once again, and the more i read your poem the more intrigued i became, the first lot of writng i did on this possibly irrelevant because i am sorry i love this poem i think it is great ,that is the gut reaction if not the intellectual reaction-