Sonnet 1

It's all about the side of what you fake
When simple hands can't make the spirits grow,
And tell me, dear friend, why did they take
A glance to put it where is hard and slow
To sharp my fading wings with stainless steel?
I guess it's just the time to weep and merge
With one i love... Like Romeo I feel
Beside a storm of clearance; human purge
The grass in ash to all that shall not be...
Increasing shadows from our piece of land
Sunset in bloom or blaze is what they see,
Because no man will try to understand
That only truth beholds a filthy lie,
And eyes are stars that weren't meant to fly.

— Unlight, Jun 07, 2008

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: Romania

Critiques

RSScheerer

18 years ago

Unlight

Welcome to NeoPoet! This piece speaks volumes - so many that I would suggest that anyone reading it do so more than once. Your words have an intense quality about them and the message is very concise. A couple of minor notes: "To sharp my fading wings" - even when I read this as an enjambment, following the line above it, it leaves a question in my mind. Perhaps you could look at this line and the one before it to see if it evokes the image you wanted? "clearence" - clearance Your final line is profound with a echo of regret ... "And eyes are stars that weren't meant to fly." Best, Ronda

poewriter58

17 years 11 months ago

without

reading Ronda's comment I pulled that last line out of all. Well executed technically. I have nothing to add to what Ronda has already said other than well done Chrystalie