My dream in a desert

My dream in a desert
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I am sleeping in the midst of trees and
htere is a dream I 've seen
Though it is surrounded by sandy heights
A green valley is in my vision
water may be scarce there but
a broad river is flowing before me
My bed may be on sand and stones but
there is a silky spread in my dream
I may be lonely there but
alot of angels are dancing in my palace
Hunger may give some pains but
every thing is there to eat and drink
I am the king and i am the supreme there
none will question me to walk and run
A re you confusing on this
Dear i am paving a road
between my dream and real

Sakthee Ravichandran

— SAKTHEEE2007, Jun 03, 2008

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Critiques

Marius Surleac

18 years ago

nice

I think that there should be "there" instead of "htere", "a lot" instead of "alot" and "are" instead of "a re". Beyond all these I think that Siddhartha Gautama is to be found through your words, and the desert from the title and the first stanza creates me the image with him laid under the shadow of the tree, sleeping and reaching Nirvana. Cheers, I like it!