Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Nocturnal Ponderings...

-Part One-


It's happened yet again.
Unbidden, you slink in.
You've interjected yourself into my thoughts.
I thought I'd finally gotten rid of you.

In one fell swoop, it's been brought back.
Your form, your essence.
Your voice - then a cadence; now a haunting.
The laughter we shared.

Laughter which turned to tears.
You went to serve our country.
Whilst I stayed behind.
And I waited.

Time passed with no correspondence.
And then I saw you.
Arm around her, loving her.
Just like you did with me.

So now, all that's left are these few thoughts.
Far and few between, usually out of the blue.
And though it's been over nine years.
I can't seem to remember to forget you....

 

-Part Two-


No exact words can describe you.
You're a Hedges song; powerful and beautiful.

Like Tchaikovsky; thunder and lightning.
You're a fine wine; soothing and sweet.

Unrefined and unruly; as a Bukowski poem.
Yet quiet and mysterious; like a shadow.

Your laughter is intoxicating as any scotch.
You've managed to crack a smile on this exhausted face.

There's some shine under this here rust.
And you, similar to coca-cola, have been uncovering it slowly.

I fluff up in defiance at the unknown.
As you have restored my confidence.
Many thanks, my friend.

(Hedges - Michael Hedges.  Acoustic finger-style artist famous for his blend of harmonics and hammer-ons.)

(Coca-cola - The carbonated water strips away rust, grime, etc.  Good for battery terminals.)

— infinite_dwarf, Jun 03, 2008

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: North Carolina, USA, USA

Favorite Poets: E.A. Poe, Lewis Carroll, Charles Bukowski, Michael McClure, Lawrence Ferlenghetti.

More from this author

Critiques

P

poewriter58

18 years ago

Jess

Part one correction interject or you've interjected Part two too many like a's part one tweak it a little. You are getting better with your love poems I must say. Or better words fine tune it. Mom/Chrys
infinite_dwarf

infinite_dwarf

18 years ago

Mom

I'll change the interjection part in the morning. Part two - though I value the opinion, I did mention that there were no exact words; thus comparisons were all I had. For now, it can stay, but will chew it over a bit. Off to bed for now. ~Jess --------------------------------------------------------------------------- ~ "The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." - Thomas Jefferson ~ "Tonight's forcast: dark, continued dark tonight, turning to partly light in the morning..." - George Carlin
P

poewriter58

18 years ago

jess

Not asking you to change the context of the poem maybe if I illustrated what I meant but of course it is just a suggestion A Tchaikovsky composition Thunder and lightening Truly a Bukowski poem As a shadow You are saying the same thing , it is still a simile but without using like a all of he time Chrys/Mom
D

DarkinAZ

18 years ago

I like this,

Both parts are good, part 2 just seems better though, more uplifting. Great write friend, Mark
P

poewriter58

18 years ago

Jess

There ya go! no that looks good
Barbara Writes

Barbara Writes

18 years ago

Great love poem

Smiles:) Barbara Love whats that? lol I write love poems, though it is out of nature for me, too painful to thinks about the good things once shared seeing him with another. Totally different emotions would creep in. A few grammar errors, otherwise it is really good. I write when I am upset, about ten pieces before I can settle down. One or two make it here. As they are rants after rants that make no sense to any reader, except me.
infinite_dwarf

infinite_dwarf

18 years ago

thx

Mom - Corrections have been made, and seems like they've gone over well! Thanks for the input and your seal of approval. Mark - I think because Part Two is 'real' it is better. Thanks for reading. Barb - Grammar errors? Where? *dashes off to read back through* I can't find anything that seems to be out of order - so maybe precise references to what you saw would help. Thanks for the comments. 10 works to calm down? Wow. ~Jess K. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ~ "The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." - Thomas Jefferson ~ "Tonight's forcast: dark, continued dark tonight, turning to partly light in the morning..." - George Carlin
D

DarkinAZ

18 years ago

I think so...

maybe I like it for that reason. Sincerely, Mark
themoonman

themoonman

18 years ago

Hi Jess...

well if I hadn't read the afterwords I wouldn't have known the first part wasn't real.. it seemed real to me.. sign of a writer if you ask me.. enjoyed the read.. the second part was better but it all fits well the thought and imagery... thanks for posting.. Richard
infinite_dwarf

infinite_dwarf

18 years ago

Many thanks

Janice - Thank you for your kind remarks. I don't normally write in this type style, and unless it's specifically for/about someone, I sometimes can't do it at all. Headaches are 50-50, had one a couple of days ago, but none since then,so I'm a little happier. Thanks for reading. Richard - As I had told Mark, I think the reason why everyone likes the 2nd better is because it's real. It's for someone that's very special to me, and so there's actual emotion behind it. The first is just kind of pulled-it-out-my-ass deal. Still and all - glad it has all worked. Thanks for stopping by, and congrat on spotlight! ~Jess ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- ~ "The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." - Thomas Jefferson ~ "Tonight's forcast: dark, continued dark tonight, turning to partly light in the morning..." - George Carlin
P

poewriter58

18 years ago

jess

I just read part one in a different light I have to agree with Chuck that is one hell of a poem real nice work Mom
R

rider68

18 years ago

Michael Hedges.

Jess This speaks volumes, Chuck conclusion is very fitting...... But I must side track......Michael Hedges. I went searching and found him on u-tube, quite frankly (Bloody Brilliant) played several of his recordings, loved them all...... I am not aware of him in the uk, I will share some recordings which i think you may like, Kindest Regards Peter ~~~~~~~~~Creativity Is to think more efficiently~~~~~~~~~~
infinite_dwarf

infinite_dwarf

18 years ago

Thanks again for all your positive comments.

Chuck - I have to admit that is my fav line in the entire poem. It's what I think would be called a paradox? That butterfly is frickin' freaky man... Mom - Yeah, every now and then something profound comes out of my fingers... LOL! Glad you liked it. David - Glad you liked part one, looking forward to your response on part two. Peter - Isn't he terrific, though? "Rickover's Dream" is my fav of his. He's a great influence to many acoustic artists - sadly he died in a car accident a few years back. Would have loved to have seen this guy in concert - it seems his stage presence is second to none. ~Jess K. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ~ "The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." - Thomas Jefferson ~ "Tonight's forcast: dark, continued dark tonight, turning to partly light in the morning..." - George Carlin
B

barbsdad2003

17 years 12 months ago

Sad to say, Jess ...

it seems I'm not, well, exactly embraced by other butterflies. They seem to keep their distance. Haven't yet figured out why. I feel much more accepted at this site than I do by the other butterflies, thank goodness. Thanx, Chuck