From Dusk 'till Dawn

I understand this lore to be true
how, at dusk the faeries appear;
and that you can't always see them,
but can hear their wings buzz by your ear.

And all of the critters of the night
rejoice when it's time to play;
every imp, and gnome, and hobgoblin
dance 'till the light of the day.

Shadows even dance to the night's song
that's when they feel at ease;
dancing hither, and thither, and everywhere
to the melody of the breeze.

So the next time you see a shadow,
peripherally out of your eye...
know that you are not alone,
the other world's are just dancing by.

— docmaverick, May 31, 2008

About the Author

Region, Country: The High Desert, in the wild west, southern California, U.S. of A.., USA

Favorite Poets: Keates, Poe, Dickinson, and Dr. Seuss. There are a smattering of others, but why bother listing 'em all, ya know?, I also rely on a few of our poets, here....for advice, and what not. I couldn't possibly explain what a fountain of live, effective knowledge we have...right here in our midst ! To catch a glimmer of brilliance, merely visit: the Stream.

Critiques

Barbara Writes

18 years 1 month ago

Dusk til dawn

Smiles:) Barbara Great poem for a book of fairy tales. Line one and four could flow a little better. maybe drop, and that in the first line. maybe say, through your peripheral vision knowing you are not alone and the other worlds are just dancing by. Just suggestions.

Arrow

18 years 1 month ago

As a lover of fairy tales

As a lover of fairy tales and classical verse, I was delighted to find this poem. I have to agree with Barbara about the rhythm, though. It's a little awkward. Check your pattern of unaccented and accented syllables. If it were more consistent, I think it would give your poem the flow she's talking about. Here's one revision I thought of: Listen child! This lore is true. At dusk, the faeries do appear. Your eyes may fail to see their wings-- yet hear them buzz about your ears! Also, I might try to substitute a word for "critter". For me, that always conjures up images of vermin that I'd like to eliminate from a garden. I hope to hear more from you.

themoonman

18 years 1 month ago

Hi Doc...

I don't think I'd change anything.. I liked your magical fairy tale.. Richard

themoonman

18 years 1 month ago

On second thought...

the title.. put me in mind of vampires.. because of the movie.. but I was pleasantly surprised with your gnomes and goblins.. Richard

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