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This Poem Is For Hitler

This poem is for Hitler
this poem is not a joke
this poem is not about Springtime in Deutschland
über alas,
this poem is for those personas who have been
the scourge of mankind, who have laid waste to the
human race, who have killed without remorse, who
have seen fit to erase an ethnic face, those whose call
to perfection
endangers humanity itself:  its faceless face.

This poem is a reminder to those who have voted in their power.

This poem is a reminder to those who have taken away the
power of their people.



— Kailashana, May 28, 2008

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RSScheerer

RSScheerer

18 years ago

This Poem...

The premise is a good one, however this is not so much a poem as a random group of statements. It could be extremely strong if you keep the theme and edit the unnecessary, like the repetition of "this poem is for..." Unfortunately, those parts steal the power from the piece by distracting your reader and disturbing the message of your words. I'd suggest a possible rewrite using the original idea. Best, Ronda
Kailashana

Kailashana

18 years ago

LOL… here i was thinking

LOL... here i was thinking repetition served the purpose of adding power... I may rewrite with the Hitler theme, not this poem though. *It* is finished. Thanks again for reading and your comments, returning your best, Anna
RSScheerer

RSScheerer

18 years ago

*laughs*

Sorry, Anna ... I guess it did the opposite for me. I would love to read another, though! I completely understand when a poem is finished for the author. Good work. ~ Ronda
Kailashana

Kailashana

18 years ago

Smiles Ronda… have to dig

Smiles Ronda... have to dig out those thoroughly bad dead guys... lol. Once when I was young, I saw a movie with him & his German Shepard...I thought *he* plays with a dog and pets it? ~Anna
RSScheerer

RSScheerer

18 years ago

Anna

That is a creepy thought, probably because we have no desire to give him credit for any sort of humanity. It gives me the shudders for the dogs, actually! lol ~ Ronda