Tortured Spirit

The tortured spirit is one that is bound to others needs.
It is a spirit restricted, to the pleasing of others, no matter how hard.
It is the spirit, which is held in place, straining to be free.

The tortured spirit is compassionate, and caring.
It is a spirit willing, and able to share.
A spirit that knows little pleasure, unless,
It is given to others.

The tortured spirit, knows first hand pain and longing.
It is pushed and cornered, it is locked away,
By both, night and day.
It is kept under pressure, to secure, and provide,
For the pleasures of others.

The tortured spirit is caged and stunned,
It knows little joy, or from where it comes.
The tortured spirit, finds it hard to breath,
Unless it is set free.

— autumnphoenix, May 11, 2008

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: USA

Critiques

Marius Surleac

18 years ago

torture

What I see is only a tortured spirit, but I don’t understand why is so tortured? Who are "the others" you mentioned above? It is about one person's spirit that is exploited by others? Also I think that the final, with the setting free of the spirit, is like asking for death - the ultimate path for the freedom. Interesting but there is to much "the tortured spirit" - the repetition is a little bit annoying. Sincerely, Marius

autumnphoenix

18 years ago

Thanks

Hi, I had not thought of the freedom, being taken for death. I guess it could be taken that way. It was to me freedom in breaking away, from the stress and strain, of being expected to take care of others needs. I do agree with the repetition of the phrase. I had another version, I felt it changed the feel of the work. Thanks

themoonman

18 years ago

Welcome to Neopoet...

first of all I loved the title.. I feel you've overwritten your theme... and the repetition in this short poem could be cut down to make it more pleasing to read...just my opinions mind you.. you are the author.. In your first line, bond, did you mean bound ? In your third line, staining, did you mean straining ? again let me welcome you to the site.. Richard

threecrows-lg

17 years 11 months ago

tortured spirit

"Bound" in the first line? oops just looked up and saw the the moonman has addressed that. sorry. Repetition isn't a bad thing autumnphoenix. Perhaps if it were used a little more playfully within the flow of your imagery. Heck what do i know? I connected with it; nuf' said. thanks.

autumnphoenix

17 years 11 months ago

Thank You

I welcome, all comments. I love feed back. I hope my peoms continue to be read and commented on. I have corrected the miss spelling. I have also tried the second version I had of the poem. This one feels easier to me. I dont think the meat of the poem is lost with this version. Thank You again.

Candlewitch

17 years 10 months ago

Hello

I would say that the author knows a bit about tortured spirits. Is it possible that you are a tortured spirit yourself? Welcome to the site, I enjoyed reading your poem. Always, Cat

autumnphoenix

17 years 10 months ago

Yes

Thanks for the reading. Yes at times I have been a toured spirit. I didn't see it at first. When I finally did I was able to write this. I now see that I must take care not to let this happen again. I have to pay close attention to my life and guard against my own neglect. Thanks again, Dana