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DD
doye deji
May 03, 2008 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

he is good, good

Hear they sing Crowd bubbling in blue lyrics Mountains and valley mount Stage to break in dance Seas and oceans stood Waving the heavens in gladness They all in one voice He is good Earth embraces his splendors Trees throwing hand of hallelujah And earth from her root Heed so deep unto his word Breathe on land, in water, on air All in one voice He that invented us He is good.
— doye deji, May 03, 2008

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KN

Kieran Nelson

18 years 1 month ago

The thought behind it is

The thought behind it is clear and there's some good ideas there. However I feel that due to, one, the lack of conjuctive words and, two, the large line spacing you've presented these seperate ideas and thoughts, as just that, seperate ideas, not a cohesive poem. Read each line and you can see that they don't really go together or read fluidly. Firstly I'd suggest fixing the foramt and getting rid of the line spacing, and secondly have a look at making it more "joined" together. Kieran "Mind, how you go!" - Roger McGough's poem for LSD Awareness Week