Empty Bed

The firat line felt a bit rough to me. These lines really stand out: My eyes even with the mattress’s horizon Silhouetted body prints tell the story I sleep on the couch Can not bear to defile this space Carpe semen This poem is almost like a prayer in its reverence. In this case the bed and bedding become a shrine to love. Very imaginative and sweet. Always, Cat

Much better, thank you. Always, Cat

I like this one. I can see what you see when you write, and I can see you writing it. Your imagery is effective because we've seen it, we know it, we know how it feels. Did you mean to say "Now know we know different", or is that one too many knows? Don't stop putting them out! --------------/\/\--[Love and Thanks]--/\/\-------------- CAMILLA: You, sir, should unmask. STRANGER: Indeed? CASSILDA: Indeed it's time. We all have laid aside disguise but you. STRANGER: I wear no mask. CAMILLA: (Terrified, aside to Cassilda.)

line that i like is Chirping birds repeat back me our escapade ,i like as well that you have written back me instead of me back-Regards

Now aren't you the lucky one lol Yours is the first poem that I have read since I'm home anyway the third line to me sticks Now know we know different is there a word missing between the know and we the rest of the poem is well thought out well written Chrys

Fragments of memory carves shadows of satisfaction and it delights the mind but with unending desire, in a flash back of a lustful experience. The first two lines being the key to the depth of the theme,as such "the lightless room.." " ..the promise " symbolises the first promise that Adam and Eve made through ignorance (...lightless...)and it was once believed that the earth was flat ( again ignorance) but committed the so called sin and GOD said , now know thyselves of every action you commit from now onwards you will have to bear the reaction. The poet has nicely arranged the sequential steps of aspects and impacts that would occur as a result of getting involved in lust. The lost paradise fills us with unending desire and we are craving and craving...the poet winds up with "Clean away the memory another day..." Although it is not new the poet has succeeded in putting it in a new way and there is an ability shown by him for him to go a bit classical too in the future. Congratulations, dear Frost. Colonel Albert.

Now this poem is good, although I didn't get what the col. got it nonetheless touched me.. sometimes it is hard to let go.. and we do whatever we can to make it last.. thanks for posting. Richard.

And bloody well written. Something about lines two and three bothers me a little, 3 seems to be needing "we" at the beginning but that spoils the scansion. Or maybe lose "that" from line 2. Sorry not sure what to do there. A powerful and moving piece. (and yes, I got what it was about first reading) cheers, Jess

First off, Ill put in the claim that I knew what you were writing about (grins) That said - wonderful piece - not wanting to forget the sanctity, and the actions that had brought you close to someone. The flow was good, and your point came across well. Nice job! ~Lynn (Jess K.) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ~ "Bush is listening.... use big words!" ~ "Your inferiority complex is better than mine..."

I had NO TROUBLE understanding what you were talking about - I wouldn't worry about those who choose to impose their interpretation on your work. It is obvious you cherish the last time you and the woman you adore made love and it was your way of hanging on to those feelings - by leaving the bed as it was - like a mother would leave her child's room as it was - if child were to be kidnapped or worse - dead. It is like the way a widow might save the garments of her husband so she may smell him and feel him in her presence once more. I think you did a great job expressing yourself and it shows you viewed the sex as far more than physical pleasure - it touched you deeply and is even sacred to you - a spiritual connection you dare not wash away or forget. Beautiful sentiments and you did a fantastic job with this. Sincerely, Amara

I understood your piece perfectly Frost, no need to explain what was going on, the piece stands perfectly as it was written ~Nicely done!~

Take up the detergent Clean away the memory another day This is brilliantly written - the closing lines blew me away. The emotional residue is powerfully felt. I love your work - this is outstanding. Kaz It's impossible to smile on the outside without feeling better on the inside.

sure like this poem full of imagery like the sheets being wrinkled mountians this is a great poem Frost i have rooms in my head from different eras I particular like the line about the birds how after a long night of ghosts the birds are the first to answer like the singing voice of angels before the damn sun even comes up O

You've definitely captured it with this peace. I read it at work a couple of days back but forgot to come back and comment. Remembrance and reverence in this poem, melancholy, loss. No hint of use or facelessness, just love, making love, love made, now gone, only existing in memory. The mattress's horizon line was very evocative for me. I could see a man, emotionally naked, sitting on the floor, probably in the corner, just staring, staring, longing for the past.... wonderful stuff. There is nothing you need to add to this piece image wise, I would just suggest a little punctuation change, these three lines flow like this when I read: Sitting in a lightless room once full of promise, Just as the world was once flat. But that it just my ear, and so incredibly minor inside this very powerful piece. Good write. Alobar (Just my two cents, spend them on gum if you wish.)

Hot like the most degree,I'll talk and breathe Damn Frost this poem got the most of me I hope you get the spotlight It'll only be what you deserve. Peace

but not when we struggle restlessly to remember only enough. In ink, Dabbler

I'm kinda new here but I must say that I truly do like reading your work. Keep up the good job.

Your opening lines..... Sitting in a lightless room once full of promise, Just as the world was once flat. Now we know different, Have been much discussed I see. I like the hint they imply, that what was once seen/known as irrefutable has now changed. Fine poem Poet....thanks for posting it. Pleides

Congrats on Spotlight, Frost. :~) ~Lynn (Jess K.) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ~ "Bush is listening.... use big words!" ~ "Your inferiority complex is better than mine..."

Smiles:) Barbara Congrats on spotlight Never thought of a empty bed in form of poetry. job was well done here.

Love is such a beautiful thing. The loss of love, will destroy your heart. But if it comes back, you can always remember.. and learn. thats what i got from this. you write beautifully. unfortunately, i dont try to write anymore. ill get an inspiration, hold on to it, then it dies. haha. i just posted a new one today.