Savage Velvet (adult content)

I liked it more when it didn't lead to a throbbing backache the next morning. And bruises difficult to explain. This is effective work, Cat. It is 'adult,' but it steers well clear of the shoals of pornography. (I suspect you could handle that task every bit as well, at need). On to the quibbles: 'darkened' (L5) seems off to me; I'd consider 'quickened' as an alternative, among other alternatives. 'hunger' goads, prods, urges, etc. Does it darken? similarly, 'budding' (L9) seems inferior to many possible trochaic substitutes, mainly for that in my mind, 'buddings' are tiny things--far, far from 'phallus,' which is at least 'not a tiny thing,' and may be taken by the credulous as 'a significant thing of memorable dimensions.' Perry

Well I guess you expressed the point you were trying to make.I mean cat you did a good job of expressing how you felt.Hope who you was speaking to can handle that.Straight no holds barred, It's cool Peace

prodigious might work, Is this what I taught you girl lol steamy yes Chrys

Steamy... and brought to the finish line too... I hate to disagree with skump but.. darkened to me anyway, describes the animalistic way you were looking at this.. just my opinion.. Richard

Cat Wow, what a pasion the expectation the wanting and waiting an eternity to fulfill this steamy trist maggie

Oh my! heh heh loved this poem I get to read tons of male poems but a few female poems are nice too on Myspace i write my erotica and other poems I enjoyed this poem just went back and re read the whole poem and I like it just the way it is Encore Encore!!! O

Cat - you naughty pussy! This reminded me of the flower sex scene in a pink floyd video, you probably saw it long ago- here is an address for it on youtube. http://youtube.com/watch?v=RXr_pJXKQAY&feature=related I think you expressed yourself well with this poem - it was erotic without being trashy. It showed passion and intelligence.

Cat, but subtle and suggestive at the same time. Definitely one to help arouse sense and sexuality on the site. lol. On the phallus issues...to get right to the point.. lol...it should really be as emotive and appropriate as possible so for me "groaning" or "throbbing". I also think you could lose "there" at the beginning of the penultimate line. Can we expect more of these from your young besotted alter ego Cat as she seeks to arouse the attention of the unknowing focus of her wanton desire? Always Keith

Smiles:) Barbara Dark satanic feel. It wants no part of approval or love Very descriptive in deed

Much of this I liked, and it did maintain a mature voice thorugh out (so easy to slip into childishness when we write of sex) but I do question your use of this phrase: white heat of your liquid fire rings of cliche to my ear. Loved these lines however: I want to encase the sating phallus Of my greed and libidinous need I am always pleased to read good poetry with sexual themes, gives hope after too much television and bad soap opratic ideals of our society. Alobar (Just my two cents, spend them on gum if you wish.)

Want vs need or desire I am guessing this was the intention to keep the reader guessing does She just want it down and dirty or does she need to feel it is just Sex and not Love even though she states she doesnt want or need that part the Love is she even in the pitcure any more or is it her body demaning the darken satisfaction which we all as human beans crave well done I like Darken As Moon points out the animal side if only we humans were as light as those animals Very entrancing read malleable doesn't work so well from me at least not with weapon would like to see some thing a little more savage A bit harder or dangerous love the Title Donnie/ Sinbad SIN Bad "White heat" molton metal of man hood agree a little to plain for such a flaming subject I don't know seems to be alot of firey words that could replace the comon heat or white

I absolutely loved this.Dark sexuality and animalistic desires,yum.Another masterful work of art,Cat.Great read. Brava! Lacy, Where power corrupts,poetry cleanses.

Precisely the kind of erotica I most appreciate...the controlled wildness that reaches the most open, yet always mindful of the beauty and necessity of sexual lust...best responded to with a beauty of its own. Check spelling on "liquescent." And, by the way, thank you for responding to the efforts of this newbie....your Illinois "neighbor" Yours in peace, Synchro

Phoarrrrr ..... Cat you naughty kitten lol ... all I will say is yummy ;) ... love you (hug) Jayne x x "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...

Enjoyed it would be an understatement lol ... Snake liked it too ... guess what hes writen some poems and going to submit them to the site :o he caved !!! ... woot tonight I am going to set up his account for him and hes going to submit his first poem ... wooot will PM you and tell you his screen name .. :P ...love you Jayne x x (hug) "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...

I read your poem and I can't get DOWN LOL dark delicious and delightful. The last two lines are "oh YEAH!!!" Sorry but I love this sort of verse! Respectfully Jim "Laws and rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" : Race