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atorn
atorn
Apr 24, 2008 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

the wind







The wind on the willow,
gently brushed through the branches.
Leaving no scar,
only longing
and a memory of a touch,
that rustled her leaves
than disappeared
like..........the wind
— atorn, Apr 24, 2008

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: new mexico

Favorite Poets: leonard cohen, charles bukowski, gary nicholson

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Critiques

infinite_dwarf

infinite_dwarf

18 years 1 month ago

ahh

Lost love - good topic. One small suggestion, though - instead of using a string of periods to convey a hesitation or pause, what do you think about: That rustled her leaves Like - The wind Or some similar structure? I know, I know, I'm a nit-pick, but there ya go. :~) btw: In case the spacing didn't work, just line everything up under the 't' for 'that' ~Jess ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ~ "Bush is listening.... use big words!" ~ I don't SUFFER from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!"
atorn

atorn

18 years 1 month ago

periods

i would change it but the periods are personal lol