Midnight Princess Part I

She stares at the moon
so bright and full
She feels the magic
of its pull
She walks alone
in her darkened night
No need to rush
the sun to light
She's intensely aware
of the stars so silent
As she listens to
their sighed lament
The trees speak
as they bend and sway
gossiping about
the coming day
The birds and crickets
chime in as well
bestowing their voice
to the mysterious belle
Soft upon her face
the shadows caress
She rules in this hour
the midnight princess

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: New York, USA

Comments

Amaranthine

18 years ago

Rhythym

This had a musical lilt to it - I appreciate greatly. There were a few spots it felt like too many syllables were being crammed into a sentence and I struggled to keep the steady beat going. For example: She’s intensely aware of the stars so silent As she listens to their sighed lament This felt awkward rhythmically and confused me as well. If they are silent - how can she listen to their sighed lament? I did like the concept of a midnight princess and it had a nice flow, overall.

Mark

18 years ago

Hello Lacy !

I liked this, could sort of be there along with midnight princess. I enjoyed the rhythm. Like Amaranthine was saying I really stumbled at that word -lament From 6 syllables down to 4 it was a sudden "hello" lol If you were to add a one or two syllable word there in the lament line it would work better I believe :) Mark

professor

18 years ago

Princess

Well Midnight Princess I feel another saga coming on. lol.I enjoyed part 1 i must admit and look forward to more. The only thing that i felt detracted from the romantic fairy-like quality of the poem was the mention of birds and crickets chiming. Somehow this just struck me as rather too light and out of place for the tone you had created......not too many birds singing at midnight anyway....just the Night owls and the ones in the Night Clubs. lol. Anyway just my thoughts for you to take or leave. your Proff

Calliope

18 years ago

Thank you all

Your comments and suggestions help greatly.It is why I post them here, to become a better poet,and who better to learn from than other poets.Sorry to say,i had a less than average education,I've never taken a class or even know the types of poetry there are,lol,everything I write is just what lives in my head so I take all suggestions very seriosly.Oh,and to your Question Amara,Her royal blood of the night gives her the power to hear what others cannot,I could have made that clearer but that's what came out,lol.This will be revisited and there is more to her story as well.For a Midnight princess there must be a Midnight prince,lol... Lacy, Where power corrupts,poetry cleanses.