Neopoet

Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

S
Skumpfsklub
Apr 24, 2008 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

killtime sonnet #22

How pleased I am to hear your beau is rich
And stallion-hung and tireless in bed
And confident---and everything you've said
Because I love you, blind and stupid bitch.
You've always shared your misery with me
And now you share your narcissistic joy
You've found at last your shiny golden boy
The prize you wanted won, the world must see!

Ignore again the dampness of my eyes
Go on about your happy, happy fate
And speak again of his impressive size
Unwitting be of what's between my thighs
But, Oh! I see that it is getting late!
And, oh, I weary grow of telling lies.

About This Poem

About the Author

More from this author

Comments

A

Alobar

18 years ago

Oh, this is fit for a

Oh, this is fit for a greeting card. Seriously. You'd make a fortune if you marketed it right! All I'd criticize is the rhyme scheme in the second half. I'm not familiar with the assorted rhyme schemes of sonnets, and I'm sure this ABAABA is bonefide, it's just that I think it's too complicated for a piece like this. Othewise, though, I think this was great--angry and bitter yet interlaced with humour, ironic with just the right amount of rudeness. It runs the risk of being lumped into childishness, of course, but your word choices, and rigid structure, I think, ensure the poem will be read and hit its point. Alobar (Just my two cents, spend them on gum if you wish.)
S

Skumpfsklub

18 years ago

Thanks. A crisp review!

It's generally on form for petrarchan sonnet--I had considerable latitude for the sestet, but the octet's form was fixed firmly The killtime sonnet rules: select (or make up) some sonnetoid form first, then fill in the boxes. Sometimes the product is not fishwrap.