The Sandman's Bride

What a captivating subject. Sandman's Bride is like a ghost of dreams. I enjoyed your metaphor and you did an excellent job composing this poem. Shadows and demons was a bit repetitive I wonder if you could have combined one or two instead of using those words so often. Overall, very original concept and nicely done.

Maybe tomorrow you will be lured :) I like this poem, Lacy. What to do but watch the shadows and wait for the sandman ;) The repitition of the key words works with me, that is to say they didn't stop me nor seem out of place. Nice poetry! Mark

I like the idea of the sandman claiming you as his bride Lacy. I think this could do with just a little tweaking to make it stand out even more. At the beginning "Pillows under my head" sounds a little unoriginal and i thought maybe you could emphasise the juxtaposition between your tormentor and protector just a little more. So perhaps: As I'm lying in bed they share my pillowed head my shadows and my demons side by side waiting for the Sandman to claim his bride I also agree with Amara that perhaps shadows and demons are repeated a little too often. You could, for example write: for they have always protected me from their torment ever there yet you cannot see (i also substituted the second always for ever to avoid repetition). I hope this is of help to you...enjoyed the poem of course, as always. Your Proff

I like the idea of the Sandman's bride, but I'd rather take him for a lover... so enigmatic and mysterious. This is an intriguing write and really sets my imagination off. Always, Cat

Nice use of metaphor and phrasing. An enjoyable read Liam

for the lover gives willingly as the bride does so often as a duty or chore and I like that i get the ideal she does not so wish to do so willingly here in the poem but does so as if it is required not that I care for such a thing I would much perfer the lover to the dutiful wife And that goes without saying some wifes are still lovers nice read and at times repitition is called for I do not see any harm done here but that depends on who and whom you are writing for and to that being said the Professor does bring up some good pointers for turning personal works into works for the perferd reader those who wish to read for reading sake or discovery seldom pick and choose as to perfection but as to inspiration and feeling but that might just be me I am quite different I rather feel the poem as to reward the corectness of or the embetterment the original ideal seems clear here So I guess it comes down to the way you feel you have brought it to the minds eye I kind of like to try to confuse the reader some as it tickles me to try and do so Donnie/ Sinbad

This style of writing suits you so well, I love the theme you have captured here! SS

Thanks for a great read. I too liked the idea of the Sandman's bride. I think this showed great imagination. Patricia

Where's the poem? Yours in peace, (Cynthia McKinney for president) Synchro

WHY????????????????? Yours in peace, (Cynthia McKinney for president) Synchro

Something is missing, here. Yours in peace, (Cynthia McKinney for president) Synchro