Words

Your first six lines here are the strongest. The simile is interesting and catches the eye right away. However, by the seventh line, you seem to lose the thought and it falls apart a bit. I can see where you meant to go, but it doesn't feel like it is quite there yet. Continuing with the simile would probably work best. The last three lines also contain several spelling errors or typos. Did you meant to say "your soul?" This has the promise of a really good piece of work, and it could remain simple but speak volumes. See if you can hold on to the idea of the puppy - think of the care something so innocent needs; then think of what happens when that care is not received. It can fit into the message nicely. Best, Ronda

I have read poets who make me want to wrap their words around my body and I can appreciate what you say, because I've felt similar. I didn't quite understand the ending. Where a patch of light from their soul shines through- you break? Is it that their light is too bright even a glimpse would blind you? Maybe like looking into the sun or more gothic - like a vampire who becomes ash if touched by sunlight? I think you should expound upon this section, make your metaphors more clear and demonstrate how intense this person is. Are their words like the moon, reflecting the sun? You can gaze at the moon when it is full, but it is not the source of light itself. I like the brevity of this and understand not wanting to spell everything out. However, I do feel there is a bridge missing to allow the reader to cross from beginning. Minor things: "your" soul "patch" of light

I'm glad I'm on your Buddy List, That's real nice of you and I'll put you on mine also just as soon as I finish this comment.It seems you really got in touch with your feelings on this piece.I'll be looking for your work whenever you post and above all my poetry can be a little off the wall but I would appricate it sincerly if you ever get the chance to comment please do.I feel special I'm somebody's buddy Yeah !!!!!! P.S. I'm not being sarcastic, I feel special literally Thank You

Another deeply personal poem Anna, for me it is a "chink" of light that you look for when the other person is so deeply closed they just cannot show what you know is inside. So many are simply too afraid to open up more. Ronda is right that the last part is perhaps not as strong but you might consider "chink" rather than "patch". Climbing walls is an occupational hazard under the circumstances but at least we climb. Keith