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the haunting

She emerged from a pool of darknesssilver droplets of moonlight clung to her hair,diamond beads braided between every strand.The night caught her with cool fingertips,creating a parade of chills throughout her being.The glow of the moon mirrored in her eyes,her alabaster skin absorbed its light.No footprints betrayed her path,no conscience prohibited her intent.She might have been a breeze,an apparition hidden in the mist.She had no interest in camouflage, nor fear of an arrest.Liquid grey eyes peered past the nightthrough a gleaming pane of glass; her entrance impeded only by lack of invitation.She longed for the warmth within her memories;the flow of life her veins once bore, the physical sensation.Forced to suffer the reality that both were forever unattainable.He was allowed to sleep peacefully beneath her gaze a moment longer,she touched his dreams, softly igniting the flames of his own memories.Daylight suppressed her presence in his life, but the nights would forever belong to her.It was then that she held him, within the boundaries of his mind, Captor and Captive intertwined,forbidden to love, yet bound by an overwhelming desire.Reluctantly, she released him to his slumber, with just one glance and a silent parting.The night folded her into its arms with her return, the only confidante she could ever have.The moon would be her only witness, and passion her eternal curse,unable to free herself of a yearning so strong, it had followed her through death.At the edge of the dark pool she hesitated, procrastinating the inevitable.Torn between where she belonged and where she longed to be,yet obligated to surrender to her confinement.Enslaved to the prison of her new existence, forever caught somewhere between heaven and hell.
— RSScheerer, Apr 19, 2008

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Near Springfield, Illinois, USA

Favorite Poets: Sylvia Plath, Edgar Allen Poe, Merrit Malloy

More from this author

Critiques

D

DarkinAZ

18 years 1 month ago

Chilling..

I like this a bunch, I like watching those ghost story shows on t.v. This really kept me intrested, the whole write. I could almost see her -"siloutte" (spelled wrong)- standing there as her blurred face reconizable only by her fear of never really leaving this place....Haunting! Loved it, Mark
RSScheerer

RSScheerer

18 years 1 month ago

Mark

If you found it haunting, then the piece did its job! Thank you for your kind words. This was a fun write. Ronda (silhouette *grin*)
A

Amaranthine

18 years 1 month ago

Haunting

I like many things about this piece. Your descriptions were fantastic and your line breaks were like ocean waves - a sweeping over the page - in and out. This would be a great opening to a short story or even novel - to go into detail of how she came to be this ghost of passion. As is, it encourages the reader to dream their own story as to who she was and who he is - their life and what was so strong between them she refuses to say goodbye and exists only for the moments he can only dream as memory fades. Congratulations on the publication!
RSScheerer

RSScheerer

18 years 1 month ago

Speculative poetry

seems to be my special corner of the trade. You've embarrassed me with your glowing commentary, though! This piece does have a predecessor, a short story entitled "Laurel After Midnight." The roles are reversed a bit in Laurel, but the premise is the same. Unfortunately, I cannot post it here as it is tied up in a publisher's desk at the moment! :( Thank you for such great commentary and I appreciate your congratulations. Best, Ronda
Candlewitch

Candlewitch

18 years 1 month ago

Speculative Poetry

Is definitely your forte. This piece is aptly titled as it is truly haunting. It reminds me a little bit of the movie, "Lady Hawk," only your couple has a little more time together, but only in a dream state. Your poem is well structured and presented. Thanks for sharing this with us and congratulations on the publication! Always, Cat
RSScheerer

RSScheerer

18 years 1 month ago

Cat

Leave it to you to find the common ground between this piece and "Lady Hawke" - an old but favorite movie. I never actually considered the similarities until you mentioned it! Glad you enjoyed the piece. Best, Ronda
Q

Quillsvein1

18 years 1 month ago

congratulations

on the publication, rhonda! this has an unrelenting atmosphere of the ethereal and imaginative--not one moment passes while reading without being sucked into the sheer fantasy of it all. sometimes excessive "fantastic" imagery hinders a poem, sometimes it makes the poem: here you've achieved a pretty good balance of both. great job
Q

Quillsvein1

18 years 1 month ago

congratulations

on the publication, rhonda! this has an unrelenting atmosphere of the ethereal and imaginative--not one moment passes while reading without being sucked into the sheer fantasy of it all. sometimes excessive "fantastic" imagery hinders a poem, sometimes it makes the poem: here you've achieved a pretty good balance of both. great job
RSScheerer

RSScheerer

18 years 1 month ago

Twice the thanks, John

...as your comment posted twice, for some crazy reason. I'm happy to hear that you found a balance between hindrance and success. It is indeed a fine line. Best, Ronda
S

Skumpfsklub

18 years 1 month ago

A lovely conceit, well executed

Best line, that is, one I'm certainly gonna steal and modify for use later in my own speech: "her entrance impeded only by lack of invitation" Most questionable line: "At the edge of the dark pool she hesitated, procrastinating the inevitable" Substituting 'postponing,' or 'staving off' or 'delaying' for 'procrastinating' would do the job, but if 'procrastination' is what you're aiming at, you might need another line to develop it. Or maybe "At the edge of the dark pool she hesitated, procrastinating [to spite] the inevitable " would do the trick. At any rate, 'procrastinating' seems the wrong verb in that line as written. ------------ The poetic conceit (as such) is new to me. I like it a lot--despite that it runs directly counter to my metaphysics, it's a charming notion, and is very charmingly developed here.
RSScheerer

RSScheerer

18 years 1 month ago

Thanks, Perry ... I think

First, we'd have to cover your intent with "conceit" - –noun 1. an excessively favorable opinion of one's own ability, importance, wit, etc. 2. something that is conceived in the mind; a thought; idea: He jotted down the conceits of his idle hours. 3. imagination; fancy. 4. a fancy; whim; fanciful notion. 5. an elaborate, fanciful metaphor, esp. of a strained or far-fetched nature. 6. the use of such metaphors as a literary characteristic, esp. in poetry. 7. a fancy, purely decorative article. 8. British Dialect. a. favorable opinion; esteem. b. personal opinion or estimation. 9. Obsolete. the faculty of conceiving; apprehension. –verb (used with object) 10. to flatter (esp. oneself). 11. British Dialect. to take a fancy to; have a good opinion of. 12. Obsolete. a. to imagine. b. to conceive; apprehend. Let's assume you mean #6, just for the sake of assumption. Taking this into consideration, I offer sincere appreciation. Your suggestions are also appreciated as well. However, since the piece has been published as it was originally written, I would do well to refrain from editing it any further. I have a tendency to "edit" which results in a total reconstruction. Sometimes it works in my favor, others it only serves to slaughter a piece which was perfectly acceptable from the start. I'm glad you enjoyed it, despite the fact that it variates from your metaphysical inclinations. Best, Ronda
infinite_dwarf

infinite_dwarf

18 years 1 month ago

Ronda...

As I had told someone else, I'm a big fan of spooks and the paranormal. This piece is just outright eerie, and I love it! ~Lynn (Jess K.) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ~ "If guns kill people, then I can blame mis-spelled words on my pencil.." - Larry the Cable Guy ~ "Driver carries less than $20 in remorse..."
S

Sean

18 years ago

Congrats on publication,

Congrats on publication, it's an amazing feeling seeing your words in professional print. These piece deserves it, well articulated, well portrayed, haunting indeed.
RSScheerer

RSScheerer

18 years ago

My thanks, Sean

Your congratulations are appreciated, as are your kind words. My work sort of hides out here lately - too busy to post anything new. Thank you for taking the time to find it. ~ Ronda
weirdelf

weirdelf

18 years ago

I have a serious problem with this poem.

second last line, the word "new" Surely she had been a ghost before she inhabited this incarnation? I am, of course, being ironical, that is the only fault I could find in a poem that literally raised the hairs on the back of my neck (I had always previously thought that was just a poetic device) I shiver again, gorgeous, scary writing. cheers, Jess
RSScheerer

RSScheerer

18 years ago

She had only recently died.

So death was a new confinement, as was the "trap" she was in being bound to these nightly visits. Does that help your serious problem or open the door to new ones? You just needed to find something to pick at to take away the shivers. BOO! Always my best, Ronda
LD

leonard daranjo

18 years ago

Hi Ronda

There are many beautiful things about this piece: the flow, the language, the images, the ideas and not to forget the brilliant ending: "Enslaved to the prison of her new existence, forever caught somewhere between heaven and hell" It reminds me of a movie I once saw with a similar theme. Great write. Take care ... Leonard
RSScheerer

RSScheerer

17 years 12 months ago

Thanks, Leonard

It always surprises me when someone goes back and digs up my work; I've gotten too accustomed to commenting and not posting! I'm happy that you enjoyed this one. It's a personal favorite. Best, Ronda
ID

Ink Dragon

17 years 5 months ago

Ronda,

I did not know this one before. It is really wonderful, meaning that you capture the atmosphere perfectly. I see now that I inadvertently used the same title on one of my latest poems. I will change it immediately, for I do not think we should have two poems with the same title on this site (Frankly, it had never even occurred to me before that it would be possible to post a title that´s already been posted???) Puzzled by this, Ink
RSScheerer

RSScheerer

17 years 5 months ago

the haunting

No, Ink! Do not change the title of your poem for this reason. Many different poems have the same title. It does not change their individuality. Only change your title if you feel it should be different. The poems themselves, I'm sure, are unique - written by two different hands and inspired by two poets' minds. If you change your title, you'll have to let me know what it is so that I can read it .... wait, I see it, "Haunted." ~ Ronda
ID

Ink Dragon

17 years 5 months ago

Ronda dearest

I changed the title because it was you of all people who had used it before! With most other people I would not have bothered. But I quite like "Haunted" as a title for my own piece, it links it even more clearly to "Hurt". So, all´s well that ends well ;) Love, Ink
RSScheerer

RSScheerer

17 years 5 months ago

Sweet

In that case, I appreciate your consideration. (But it really wouldn't have bothered me) Which reminds me, I have yet to read "Haunted!" Off to do so now! ~ Ronda