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Rob Graber
Rob Graber
Apr 22, 2008 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Sunday Morning

Absent-minded, I
Pictured a little boy
Learning, from a father
Largely so unlike him,
How to feed the squirrels
And the birds.

And I must have grinned
To recognize myself,
As I pushed a fresh ear
Of corn down on the spike
With which I had equipped
The pin oak near our window,
So like my father before me.

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Country/Region: USA

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RSScheerer

RSScheerer

18 years ago

It's not, really

It needs some personification - Absent-minded, I pictured a little boy standing before me years ago, learning from a father largely so unlike him, how to feed the squirrels and the birds that find me here. And I must have smiled, recognizing him here again with his own son, pressing a fresh ear of corn down my spike he had equipped upon the pin oak near their window like his father had done so many years before him. Not trying to re-write, just offering suggestions to take or leave as you wish. I like the passage of time and ritual from father to son. It makes me think of my husband with our little boy. Little things that some would take for granted are remembered for years when they are transformed into tradition. Thanks, Rob. Best, Ronda
Rob Graber

Rob Graber

18 years ago

I will definitely revise, as

I will definitely revise, as your thoughtful suggestion shows how far the current version is from succeeeding. The second stanza will be something like this: And I must have grinned To recognize myself, As I pushed a fresh ear Of corn down on the spike With which I had equipped The pin oak near our window, So like my father before me. Thanks, Ronda!