Cause of Death

I am dying.

But no earthly virus
or disease
causes my affliction

Love is my demise.

Like an I.V.
it slowly drips
into my veins
poisoning my body

Slowly rotting inside.

Side-effects
are common
may cause
depression ,
mania
intense pain

Do not mix with alchahol.

Then you inject
your lethal dose
your words
like a needle
your silence
stops my heart
and i slip
into a dark abyss

I am dying.

Cause of Death : Your Poisoned Love

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: New York, USA

Comments

Amaranthine

18 years ago

Poison

What an interesting concept - that this love is a lethal drug causing you to become ill a poison. (alchohol - not alchahol) You carried the metaphor throughout nicely and I feel you had an interesting ending. Overall, good job - I can't think of anything that stands out as being awkward or unclear.

Barbara Writes

18 years ago

I thought this was good

Smiles:) Barbara Well done. Being love by the wrong person can be like poison, especially in domestic violent cases. Probably not your take on it.

Candlewitch

18 years ago

Lacy

I really like how this piece read like a doctor's examination analysis. Good metaphors and it flows nicely. "Cause of Death" is an enjoyable read. Favorite line: "Cause of Death : Your Poisoned Love" Always, Cat

professor

18 years ago

A lethal dose

I read this a number of times Lacy and while the poem itself is great i had more trouble with the image of being poisoned by someone else's love. An obsessional form of love could i suppose be quite a lethal poisonous cocktail but that did not appear to be what you were refering to in this poem. It felt more like a distorted, half-formed kind of deceptive love that was poison because it was not the real thing. It could be that you felt yourself the recipient of a powerful love but that might only turn to poison if it was taken away. OK perhaps i have got it all completely wrong here so please enlighten me. lol. Don't get me wrong though the poem itself is very powerful in every sense. The only word in it that i might have suggested considering changing was "rotting" since i suppose i see poison more as insidiously "festering"...however that may just be a personal preference. I did like the whole helpless patient idea i must admit. Keith

Calliope

18 years ago

This is actually about a friend of mine

Though I have been in this kind of situation,I'm not the type to stay.My friend is a Bright soul and every day she stays with this guy,her light grows dim,She is more and more depressed everytime I see her.He is a peice of shit,2 bit hustler,who tries to pull a fast one every time he opens his mouth.All anyone has to do is spend 5 min with this guy and you will look at my friend and say,How do you stay, Why do you stay.He's verbally abusive,but I don't know if he's ever hit her,my opinion,yes he has,but she would never tell me or admit to it while she is still there with him.She loves who he used to be ,or whoever she fell in love with isn't there anymore.He smoking crack and have people that want him dead and almost every neighbor around them has a restraining order for him except me,and if it wasn't for my friend I would probably have one too.When I just see him coming I get a migraine,yes he is that bad, and if she stays I believe it will kill her one way or another.So yes,it is a distorted half formed kind of deceptive love that is truly killing my friend.And I feel so helpless to stop it,because she believes every word he says,as if she were hypnotized or something. Any suggestions would be helpful because at this point I don't know what else to do to help her.I can't seem to remove his poisonous needle. Lacy, Where power corrupts,poetry cleanses.

professor

18 years ago

Had a feeling this was the story

And often in these situations the more you try to persuade her to leave the more she will dig her heels in...i have seen this too mnay times before. Love can easily become an obsession and it is well recognised that love makes you blind to the faults of the person you love...it even shuts off the part of the brain dealing with moral judgements! The answer is far from simple but the fighting fire with fire scenario can sometimes work....she needs to see and feel what a true constant lover can be like and she will fall out of love quite quickly if that happens. The other way is for her to leave him for a while and try to regain her sanity. The best outcome is unfortunately for him to find another victim. Keith

Calliope

18 years ago

Your very right

She does dig in those heels anytime someone tries to enlighten her.So all I can really do is be there if she needs me.Her mother and fam have already cut ties because she is blind to it.Everyone can see it but her.It is so sad ,she has a bussiness degree and was a professional cheerleader,but now,all she does is curl up in bed or the couch and lie there so forlorn,yet still hoping,I guess that things will get better, but they only get worse.I just hope she sees the light before its too late.Thanks Proff, Ever the teaher's pet, Lacy, Where power corrupts,poetry cleanses.

IKnowNoBox

18 years ago

I feel the Co-dependant fix

poison that creates a momentary high even.Attached to a parasite pumping that poison into her then she becomes addicted to the anti venom that he gives every now and again, I feel Keith really dialed it in well. i told a friend that had a girl like he is, i told him "Todayyou should let everyone walk all over you." He Replied, "Why would I do that?" I then told him, "Exactly, why would you let anybody just walk all over you."I constantly argue for him staying with her... the secret is that he discredits my reasons. After while they get sick of defending the losers, but when they hear someone else do it they shiver quicker. in ink, david

Calliope

18 years ago

Yes ,sadly...

...this happens too often.We can only be there when they need us,when there is nothing else you can do. Thanks for reading,I hope all goes well for your friend too. Lacy, Where power corrupts,poetry cleanses.