No, those pants look good on you

I believe this topic was already covered, with great fanfare, by Sir Mix-a-lot back in the day ... having said that, I ask, 'why can the ass not be as romantic to talk about as, say the eyes or lips?' These have been covered by poets for centuries, yet the ass, perhaps a women's sexiest body part has been taboo to talk about. Why? Is it because the ass is immediately sexual, whereas the eyes are "windows to soul" or the lips are not (even though, we as men, know what we think of when a pair of Jolie lips sit on a face). You, Skump, have set a challenge for me: to write about the ass, without getting sexual. Oh, and as for the poem itself, it's obviously tongue in cheek and gave me a humorous minute while reading. I mean it's no "I like Big Butts ..." but it's cute.

Ok, you know this is funny - admit it! That was the whole point...and you did a great job - I grinned while reading and needed the comedic relief. Good job!

Thought this one needed a long overdue review lol ;) I (repeat) again the same old boring things --- minus say My tongue is stuck mid swing, like a rut Invention fails; my words have stubby wings ---great line (I can) find no means to compliment your butt. It scars my psyche, I cannot find 'the' phrase As high and round and firm as that I see. a poet’s problem troubled me for days; --- minus this At last I (cease) and let the matter be. --- minus quit Of course you know you have a shapely ass --- this line I needs a total overhaul My interest, which you cannot doubt----- minus in I lo'o'se my train of thought whene’er you pass and wonder how I manage not to shout. My eyes are always drifting to your rump, and jeans cannot conceal a telling lump. --- my so here are some of my thoughts on the matter I am not expert just learning the art of critique anything you like keep anything you dont trash kind regards Jayne-Chloe

I think I shall say little and see where you go with the input. You have the idea down, certainly yet I agree the mechanics could use an upgrade. Indi

My standard answer is "you look lovely", the bad thing is she doesn't believe me anymore. The poem is ok for me, has some spots where it could be improved for flow of the tongue, I see your meter is important, ten syllables, it restricts but it is an attainable goal, especially with the theme you've chosen for this particular poem. something like a rut something of a rut (seems to drop out easier for me) as high and round and firm as that I see (stumbler) it sets up round and firm as most I've seen (my country way of saying the same thing in your meter) This poem depends on the reader to understand that it is a question, which you cover with the title well, but I think is a bit lost within the lines, just an observation, and I didn't want to assume intent, so there is a big ol chance that I am wrong there... as I am very used to being. very interested in your response Richard

After pondering awhile I caught what failed for me. There is a failure in the flow as it's read. A sonnet correct? It isn't the topic or style that fails it's more the flow. Not smooth enough,maybe too forced to fit the parameters. Play with the wording and see where that leads maybe. Indi