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RSScheerer
RSScheerer
Apr 15, 2008 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

mosaic

crazy constellations

planes of possibilities

warped windows where

sunlight seizes seconds

reconstructing, rearranging, reconciling

fractured, fallen fragments

— RSScheerer, Apr 15, 2008

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Near Springfield, Illinois, USA

Favorite Poets: Sylvia Plath, Edgar Allen Poe, Merrit Malloy

More from this author

Critiques

P

purplemoondoll

18 years 1 month ago

A lesson in mosaic. I think

A lesson in mosaic. I think the way you wrote this captures the theme. Awesome. Kaz It's impossible to smile on the outside without feeling better on the inside.
RSScheerer

RSScheerer

18 years 1 month ago

Kaz

Thank you! We never know how these things are going to turn out, do we? I'm glad it worked for you (and me!). Ronda
Mark

Mark

18 years 1 month ago

Quite nice to read

It just fell into alliteration huh ? That is kind of like some of my ideas they just fall (sometimes they don't get up) ;) Your poem kind of feels like the past 30 hours for me. ::smiles:: Mark
RSScheerer

RSScheerer

18 years 1 month ago

Mark

You're much too young for "I've fallen and I can't get up!" and so are your ideas. :P The first two lines were written when I noticed the alliteration. By then I figured, what the hell, and finished out the poem with it. Never been a big fan of it, but it seemed to "fall" into place here. As for the past 30 hours .... breathe now. *smile* Ronda
Rob Graber

Rob Graber

18 years 1 month ago

Effective use of

Effective use of alliteration! In case you are still fussing with this write, I will mention two things, Ronda. First (and more importantly), "reconciling," in your mosaic context, immediately brought to my mind the word "tiling," which then became conspicuous for its absence from the poem! Second, there is an interesting word for the little tiles composing a mosaic: "tesserae" ("tessera," singular).
RSScheerer

RSScheerer

18 years 1 month ago

interesting, Rob

Aware of both of your points (I especially love the word "tesserae.") However, I trip over the "t's" for some crazy reason! I'm leaving this piece alone for fear of screwing its simple nature. Love your thoughts on this one! Thanks! Ronda
C

Calliope

18 years 1 month ago

Simple

And elegant.Loved it! Lacy, Where power corrupts,poetry cleanses.
Q

Quillsvein1

18 years 1 month ago

a

small, neatly crafted thought turned into a an extremely well crafted poem. i have no critique here (the title is beautifully appropriate to the subject matter) except that i wanted more; that, of course, would have defeated the purpose of the compact magic you've generated. again, great job!
A

Amaranthine

18 years 1 month ago

Mosaics

You did a great job describing mosaics. I loved the alliteration. Sunlight Seizing Seconds was the only line where the alliteration caused me to stumble. The first and last lines were my faves. I enjoy your work - will be reading more of you!
RSScheerer

RSScheerer

18 years 1 month ago

Amaranthine

Thank you for reading and your kind words. The same line bothered me a bit as I wrote; it sounded more like a stutter than alliteration. However, it does express exactly what I was attempting to convey. Over-editing is often the bane of my writing, which is why it's better left untouched. I'm looking forward to reading more of your work as well. Cherry Blossom Rain is just beautiful! Ronda
S

Sean

18 years ago

Brought all the beautify

Brought all the beautify crafted mosaics I have seen (and Taiwan loves mosaic)back to life for me, as well as a new grouping of tesserae, that which your poem tiled masterfully in my mind.
RSScheerer

RSScheerer

18 years ago

Thank you once again, Sean

Seems you're digging up all of my secrets! I'm happy that you enjoyed this piece and took the time to tell me. Thank you! ~ Ronda