Rain of Feathers

Eider down feathers
fall down around me
like snow from the sky
I raise my arms
turn in a circle
and take in
the wanton
tempest
of my fury

A lampshade flung
against a wall
the base cracked
the shade torn
the bedside table
battered and rammed
against a dresser
like an abusive husband's wife

The mirror was shattered
into a million pieces
each one reflecting
a mask of rage
someone I don't recognize
glares back at me
from the ice like bits of glass

The mattress ripped open
springs popping out
like a hundred jack in the boxes
only there were no jacks
or any boxes
just rusted,old springs
flopping around like fish
in a sea of impotence

And now
with the pillows
sliced and flung
about the room
a calming rain of feathers
slowly falls around me

And I am at peace once again.

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: New York, USA

Comments

DarkinAZ

18 years ago

I wish

I wish I could afford feather pillows.... Good write, Mark

professor

18 years ago

Next time i will ask before changing the TV channel. lol

A fun poem Lacy, although i hope this scenario is imagined. lol. I enjoyed the description of the havoc wreaked by your anger and the poem flows well with the structure you have used. As always I have some suggestions/corrections for you to take or leave....and you expect that of me. I think destruction (typo) is OK Lacy although you might want to add "Wanton" before it for more emphasis. The line "that showed the obvious abuse" feels a little weak and you might consider using some imagery to create more impact. You change to past tense in verse three whereas the rest is present, so perhaps leave out "was" before "shattered". Perhaps that would then change the end of the verse to "don't recognise" and "glares". I'm not entirely sure about: "without the jacks or the boxes" the repetition sounds a little trite. May be you could say something about the image of the released spring flopping around or about the fact that it could not be put back in its proverbial box. Lastly, it should be "falls" in the last verse. Hope this is of some help. Keith

Calliope

18 years ago

Thanks Proff,

It does help.I knew I had some tense problems here but I figured I would get comments first clean later.That's me though 'clean later'lol.But you have some really good suggestions.explanation of where this came from will be sent to you. Teachers Pet, Lacy, Where power corrupts,poetry cleanses.

purplemoondoll

18 years ago

Wow this is brilliant. Just

Wow this is brilliant. Just one tiny glitch - detruction - should be destruction? I love the way you captured this - the language use works really well for me. It made me smile at the end! I liked these lines! The mattress ripped open springs popping out like a hundred jack in the boxes without the jacks or the boxes Without the jacks or the boxes - clever! How about the devastation or tempest of my fury instead of destruction Nice work! Kaz It's impossible to smile on the outside without feeling better on the inside.

LadyTheresa

56 years 4 months ago

Wow!!

I could really feel the rage....Good write Lacey! Theresa

Calliope

18 years ago

thanx

lady t and kaz glad you liked it.it did happen once, long ago ,but not since .the rage was real,guess thats why you feel it,lol.Kaz you had some really good suggestions,let me know what you think once i clean it up a bit. again thanx everyone. Lacy, Where power corrupts,poetry cleanses.

purplemoondoll

18 years ago

You nailed it Lacy - this is

You nailed it Lacy - this is a dream to read the second time around :-) Kaz It's impossible to smile on the outside without feeling better on the inside.

rider68

18 years ago

This Rage is a girl thing,

This Rage is a girl thing, The closest I've come to this was a pillow fight as a child, feathers cascading down around us,nightmare clearing up. Stick to verbal abuse, far far cheaper, (:-) Very Nice Regards Peter

Calliope

18 years ago

LOL

LMAO!Thanks. Lacy Where power corrupts,poetry cleanses.

IKnowNoBox

18 years ago

I am a pillow killer

stuffing tossed about though never thrashed a feature pillow.Please write one about a pillow fight now....lol In ink, Dabbler

Calliope

18 years ago

I think

I'll take out the 'to pieces'in 'battered to pieces' i noticed it after i updated so i'll wait,but i use it in the next stanza,so it should go. Lacy, Where power corrupts,poetry cleanses.

LadyTheresa

56 years 4 months ago

Lacy

Yes that's a good idea- I just reread your poem again and yuo've already used the word "pieces" depicting the mirror. A very good read that I completely enjoyed! Theresa