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Q
Quillsvein1
Apr 11, 2008 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Twilight

I have dreamed of escape and I have dreamed of your laces scattered in the alcove Along the dock some mother and at fifteen giving her breast to the hour I have dreamed of escape a forever longed for at the ladder of a prow A handmaiden walking the planks with a cut rose in her mouth I have dreamed of escape buried on the beach like a bowsprit A young one drinking wine with a black knife in her hand I have dreamed of a mother some fresh greens in a newspaper and the stars of dawn's trousseau The length of a dock... the length of a drowning throat

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Q

Quillsvein1

18 years ago

Twilight

I have dreamed of escape and I have dreamed of your laces scattered in the alcove Along the dock some mother and at fifteen giving her breast to the hour I have dreamed of escape a forever longed for at the ladder of a prow A handmaiden walking the planks with a cut rose in her mouth I have dreamed of escape buried on the beach like a bowsprit A young one drinking wine with a black knife in her hand I have dreamed of a mother some fresh greens in a newspaper and the stars of dawn's trousseau The length of a dock... the length of a drowning throat
RSScheerer

RSScheerer

18 years ago

How it was intended to appear?

Funny, because my first suggestion was going to be enjambments and end-stops. Not sure if it didn't post correctly the first time or if you came back and changed it within the comments, but the stanzas give it power - a gasp between each image. Complete with stanzas, there is nothing I would change here. The imagery is just too perfect. Ronda
Q

Quillsvein1

18 years ago

the whole

formatting thing screwed up terribly for some reason when i originally posted the poem. i don't think it's any fault of the site, only my dinosaur computer. anyway, frank stanford is a great poet (now writing an elegy for him) and i would encourage any of you guys to go check out of his stuff, which was placed on the internet by his wife after his untimely death. best!
P

purplemoondoll

18 years ago

I was lost in the beauty of

I was lost in the beauty of your incredible imagery. Absolutely beautiful writing my friend. I have walways enjoyed your poetry but your more recent work seems to have a new dimension that awes the senses. Awesome work. Kaz It's impossible to smile on the outside without feeling better on the inside.
Mark

Mark

18 years ago

my mind

was pushed to the back of my head with the impact of this. thanks quills, Mark
S

Synchro

17 years 10 months ago

This is the kind of poem I love

and you have handled it masterfully...the ending packs a wallop, which is a horrible cliche...but true here.....Thank you for a great read....Stay in this vein, and you are a winner....every time. Yours in peace, (Cynthia McKinney for president) Synchro