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Nilmini
Nilmini
Apr 08, 2008 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Just before the battle start

 

Who is it, inside that black robe?  
A Parasite,                                  
seeking another blood drop.

Birds of Prey floating low                           
in search of the next kill.          
Fingers hidden in a trouser pocket    
savour the sweetness of bills.


Blue police jeeps bring                 
wrong to face justice.                 
Jingling of the chains and cuffs             
sends shivers down spines.         


Guilty at heart                                
waits in the dark                        
holding the iron bars.                     
Eyes staring;                                         
but seeing nothing.                          
His mind’s gone blank.

Pained heart from home                  
hesitates on the corridor                 
clutching her ragged purse                 
and a bunch of hopes.                       
Studs that glistened on her ear lobes,
gone to the pawn shop                            
in exchange for the hopes.                  
But doubt clouds the weary mind,
whether she’ll take him home.

Hustle & bustle of papers,          
foreign words uttered every where,
Excitement gaining speed                 
while figures run here & there.


Silence Please!
Time fly fast.                                        
‘Battle of Jargon’                                
about to start.


— Nilmini, Apr 08, 2008

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: LKA

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Critiques

weirdelf

weirdelf

18 years 2 months ago

I see corrupt catholic priests

is that right? I am only another poet, I often get things wrong, feel free to tell me so. It could also be about corrupt police. Same thing really. I loved the power and passion in this work, even if I got it completely wrong. I was going to quibble about the spelling of "Huzzle & buzzle" but then realised you probably did it on purpose. cheers, Jess
Nilmini

Nilmini

18 years 2 months ago

Thanks Jess

Thanks Jess, for the prompt comments. I'm sorry, but I knew that I would confuse people with this mess of words. The wearer of the robe this time is not a priest, but a lawyer. Take that as a clue & read on again. Looking forward to your comments again. Regards, Nilmini
Candlewitch

Candlewitch

18 years 2 months ago

When you said parasite, I

When you said parasite, I emmediately thought of a politician. A lawyer is close. Just one suggestion: Hustle and bustle. Welcome to the site! Always, Cat
G

Grannyjill

18 years 2 months ago

Just before the Battle starts

I was misled by the black robe too, especially as you had Birds of pray, rather than Birds of prey, but the banknotes in the pocket confused me. You have managed very well to show me how life can be in another world, far from England. The girl in the corridor stanza especially works well. Thank you.
Nilmini

Nilmini

18 years 2 months ago

Thank you

Thanks Cat & Grannygill, The Words 'Hustle & bustle' (the noise of the turning papers) were used just as another way to show how busy it is just before the court started. We use it in spoken English. It may not be a very good idea to use it in written form. I've used 'Foreign words' there to indicate that the words used by practitioners of law in courts are not understood by the general public. Oh my, how many times I've checked this work, but only you pointed out my error in using the word 'Birds of prey'. Thank you so much! I should correct it. In my country, lawyers & judges wear black robes. Priests wear white ones. Mostly the moneyed litigants can get away from facing justice by the proper use of money on the lawyers. Financially unfortunate population are more harassed by the law. It's said that "The law is like a spider web that only catches small insects. The powerful ones can tear it & get away". This was my initial idea. Thanks again for reading & commenting on my work. Nimini
infinite_dwarf

infinite_dwarf

18 years 1 month ago

Nil

This is a great start. My first thoughts were either priest or magistrate. And yes - it's possible to have a corruption of both. My little red pen suggests that 'time fly fast' should be revised to 'time flies fast' That's all. Welcome to the site, and many thanks for your kind words in chat tonight. :~) ~Lynn (Dwarfie) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ~ "Bush is listening.... use big words!" ~ "Your inferiority complex is better than mine..."
Nilmini

Nilmini

18 years 1 month ago

Thanks Lynn,

It's so nice of you to go through my lines and comment. I think the Magistrates in your country & those in mine are different. In here, a Magistrate is a judge in a minor criminal court. He's a Government officer that receives a monthly salary. I was more concentrating on the Lawyers that live on the money of the litigants & who would do any damn thing for money. About the chat, I'm so thankful to you & the others for giving me such a warm welcome. Best Regards, Nilmini