Counting Today

For me, the most poignant part of the poem is the stanza with the spider denoting the appreciation for new life, even that of a spider. I like spiders because they get rid of flies. I'm always transporting them from the house to the outdoors. This is a lovely poem, Richard. Thank you. Always, Cat

Maybe I'm just tired this evening, but I can't seem to find the flow or rhythm of this piece. I'm really enjoying the images, celebratory and innocent, with underlying truth--old man dying indeed--but when I read through it I can't get it to flow just right. I think it's the second stanza that's causing me to stumble, it seems out of synch with the rest of the poem's flow. I'm not sure if I can put this into the words I mean, but it's as if you began a structured, loosely rhyming poem, changed it, and then meandered back to the scheme. Like I said, I may be just tired this evening, but I can't stop stumbling over the second stanza every time; then I can't get the flow back, at least not completely. Sorry if this rambling critique makes no sense, I'm a little distracted this evening, ignore it if you wish.

"I’ll fly my kite its a four leaf clover I’m hoping for a wind." nice job there, really gives to me a sense of reaching for our own futures, what we can make, hopes and dreams, but also states quite plainly that we are all at the mercy of the wind, hoping that if we set sail in just the right direction, we'll have the luck of things going along well. self determination meets "at the mercy of fate", and a sense that's just ok by you, since you've come to know the reality of life's whimsy. i like this one, Richard. there's a good voice and feel behind it, hope in the tone, a peaceful sense of acceptance that isn't negative, isn't nihilistic or fatalistic. no victim are you, here, but seeming in tune with self and universe. Niki