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Frost Smith
Frost Smith
Apr 02, 2008 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Courtroom Cleansing


 

Conceited conclusions constantly cast

Cognitive carcinoma cyst consume,

 

Cavalier conceptions constructed continually

Carnivorous cyclone circus circling,

 

Conversely cynical condemnation

Catacombs containing co-dependent children,

 

Congruently cutting counter-productiveness copiously

Cements civil centered community,

 

Comprehension crushing cruelty

Compassion can count,

 

Candy coated comments

Charming cranky cocksuckers

 

— Frost Smith, Apr 02, 2008

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: USA

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Critiques

G

gumpymonkey

18 years 2 months ago

Great exercise. Good

Great exercise. Good message. Your flow could be improved by reading it aloud and using some different endings on some of the words. I have put some suggestions in capitols below. Or by underlining where I have deleted a few letters. Carnivorous cognitive cystS consume Conversely cavalier conceptions constructed continually Conceded conclusions constantly cast Conniving cyclone circusES circling Catacombs containing co-dependent children Congruently cutting counterproductive comments copiously CementING civil centered communitIES Also, are you saying that there are "copious counterproductive comments" or "copiously cements civil centered community" Because the rest of your poem finishes its thoughts on each line, but this one is not clear as to whether you wanted to bridge the final two lines or not. Power to your message man. Isn't this alliteration stuff a great challenge for the brain? -Daniel
Frost Smith

Frost Smith

18 years 2 months ago

gumpymonkey ...

I will give serious consideration to your suggestions; its alot harder than it looked, actually very humbling; trying new things doesn't always go well but if you don't you never grow right? Thanks Frost
G

gumpymonkey

18 years 2 months ago

i get up in the morning

and as soon as morning glory removes itself from my mental crotch... i am ready to try new things! grow away. -Daniel
A

abrelosojos

18 years 2 months ago

alliteration on crack. lol.

alliteration on crack. lol. i cant get into these poems for some reason..i get lost but i think it is awesome that a lot of the poets here can do it because i certainly cant! fragile things: take flight!
themoonman

themoonman

18 years 2 months ago

Frost..

I've never tried it myself..but you did well!
infinite_dwarf

infinite_dwarf

18 years 1 month ago

Frost

I really like this one - especially some of the descriptions: Carnivorous cyclone circus = could represent the proceedings as a whole. Charming Cranky Cocksuckers = lawyers? Quite a tongue-twister, I wouldn't want to try this one for an open mike reading, but the message is very clear. Well done. ~Lynn (Jess K.) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ~ "Bush is listening.... use big words!" ~ "Your inferiority complex is better than mine..."
Frost Smith

Frost Smith

18 years 1 month ago

Infinite_Dwarf...

This actually this was about neopoet; the cock suckers were people who did not want to hear any feedback other than "thats great," Things have settled down but a month ago it was a pretty hot topic about how people should give critical feedback. Thanks Frost
infinite_dwarf

infinite_dwarf

18 years 1 month ago

*shakes head*

I really need to start paying better attention. I need to learn that there are other things beyond the obvious - both you and Peter managed to trip me up in less than 24 hours... Still working on the fire for 50 Shots - think I almost have it. ~Lynn (Jess K.) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ~ "Bush is listening.... use big words!" ~ "Your inferiority complex is better than mine..."