killtime sonnet #15

You must excuse my petty view of stuff.

I know I shouldn't spend my wit like this,

On notes about my neighbor in the buff,

Or office politics, like what to kiss,

But I'm 'mature' and deep in routine life;

Adventure's rare at best (and doesn't last).

I've learnt a trick or two for dodging strife

And like the slow lane, don't mind being passed.

The small and not-too-awesome holds my eye:

I will attend the way a sparrow eats

And count the spangled joys that flutter by.

I let more skillful tongues tell grander feats.

The lines I write serve very modest aim:

They fill the time until I join some game.

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orgami

18 years 1 month ago

hugging the shadows

goodness i have forgotten i once was there and wish to be there but i cant my new life like my new poems flames out of me like a jet fighting to stay airborne am i really in control should i eject i like the way you humbly write but cant help notice the grander plots of poems and poets and i like the comment at the end you have wit and endurance which keeps people safe long after the granduer acts crash and burn reading the Lonely Hearts Club poems on neopoet makes me feel useful and if anything makes me relate more to other poets yes i like this poem a reminder for me to keep close too to the wall sometimes O

Skumpfsklub

16 years 11 months ago

Tossed back into the stream. It's been a year unrated.

And mostly unremarked. Let's take care of that rating thing, okay? The criticism may proceed, unfettered. You may award just one star with a happy smile on your face. This is an 'undead' poem. It will feel no pain.

themoonman

16 years 11 months ago

Perry...

a four star from me because it is done well and I like it, like the content and can relate as I'm movin kinda slow at the junction myself at times now... not a five because it didn't wow me... a four because I couldn't offer any suggestions... I am no expert on formed poetry... but I can usually tell a sonnet from another poem... what I am an expert on is what I like... Glad to see you taking a more active role here, often times one can feel dejected, sorry if you've been ignored. respectfully Richard

Skumpfsklub

16 years 11 months ago

Thank you very much, Richard.

I like the shape of your review: you mention your criteria of judgment--amazing how few do! (I have a tendency to pick at the reviews of works I see here; I enjoy doing elementary typologies. And that's SO much easier when the critic himself declares them.) Thus, I don't feel guilty about the four stars from you; the rating makes sense as you outline it. My own rating of this killtime sonnet is ***. My criteria, which stress effectiveness with regard to purpose, blah-blah-blah, mark it as 'of routine effectivess'; it says what it means to say in a workmanlike manner, but is not remarkable otherwise. Perhaps that's why it went unrated for so long. It doesn't differ greatly from a prosaic statement--and in this community, more extreme feelings and ornate language may be the sine qua non to establish a piece's credential. But I'm speculating. Thanks again, Perry. P. S. I'll get to your stuff, by the way. I have to schedule the time to do it right, though. Would not want to short-change you with a glib review.

orgami

16 years 11 months ago

the duffle of the shuffle

dont look too hard at me kind of like the Emporers Nude Clothes great story a kind poem in a world where people in a rush kick out the cane of those in needing of such things but no fret there are others who rush to raise us up and keep us steady on our way Such as here in Neopoetland