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Lilith ; Part IV

Dominatrix of pleasure
she knows where to touch
his body lengthens
it doesn't take much

With every caress
she takes ever more
helpless in his tumescence
she settles her score

She brings him to the point
dominatrix of pain
then draws it out
till he cries out her name

A turn of the hand
a flick of the tongue
with a slice of a blade
she pierces his lung

In the throes of death
she lies down beside him
"Oh, please my darling,
don't be so grim.
We've had our good times.
We've had our fair share.
But what you've taken from me ,
Your life alone can't compare.
You knew this would happen
that you'd have no control.
And now...
I finally have your soul"

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: New York, USA

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Comments

R

rider68

18 years 1 month ago

Hell Has No wrath-

Hi Lacy Hell Has No wrath-Like a woman scorned, It's a great conclusion, and a great story told, quite a cynical sweet revenge, I'll remember not to cross swords with you, For me, it read very well (as usual) Very Best Regards Peter
RSScheerer

RSScheerer

18 years 1 month ago

Lacy

The first two stanzas are not quite as strong as they could be. Although I've followed these since the first, there are times when I had to think for just a moment about whether a line referred to "him" or "her." If that makes sense. It's all a juggling of the words. The last parts are perfectly wicked. One small thing, mostly for aesthetics, the Roman Numeral four is IV. :) ~ Ronda
C

Calliope

18 years 1 month ago

i know I was trying to get it

down with baby in hands ,have to fix the numerals .i still think this needs some polishing so i guess its not the end of lilith,lol.reading it back i'm not at all happy with it.will have to rethink this one.thanx for the comments. Lacy, Where power corrupts,poetry cleanses.
RSScheerer

RSScheerer

18 years 1 month ago

Only you know

You'll know when it feels "right," Lacy. It never works when we force it! Ronda
asiajy

asiajy

18 years 1 month ago

surprising

I overall liked this series. Before your poems, I shamefully had never heard of Lilith and would'nt recognize the name if the letters jumped up and clawed at me. Learn somrthing new everyday, I think that's why I enjoyed this series. You and Candlewitch never cease to impress.
C

Calliope

18 years 1 month ago

Thank you so much asiajy

I'm glad I could bring to life for you part of histories mysteries,myths and legends.If your interested search Lilith in mythology and theology.thanks for the flattery,your just being nice,lol[bats eyes] Lacy, Where power corrupts,poetry cleanses.
professor

professor

18 years 1 month ago

You have to put it all together now...

I see you have revised this now and it works very well in my opinion although for some reason it does not feel as cruel and brutal as some of the previous verses. The only minor comment i have is that the repetition of dominatrix in the third verse after you used it in verse one might perhaps be better avoided since it is such a strong word. Perhaps just "bringer of pain"? Anyway congratulations on your epic poem Lacy...or is there a resurrection, where he gets his own back, part V brewing. lol. Keith
C

Calliope

18 years 1 month ago

Lol.

Perhaps... Where power corrupts,poetry cleanses.