Awkward

some intended
moments
take place
in unseen chaos
and in a sterile
white calm manner

I was surfing
beyond
the danger zone
I was
free
from any expectancy
and my chair
was making strange noises

the room was silent
almost a clean silence
I listened with a smile
to my slow thudding heartbeat
I was meditating inside me
I was in that moment free

a knock
on the door
brought me
crashing
back to reality

he entered the room
and the calm atmosphere
was now banished
to what we say is history
I could feel his anxiety
his posture was awkward
his eyes looked sad

then it came
like a rogue bullet
from a snipers rifle
a direct hit
the pain entered
and then exited
I was stunned
for a moment
then I experienced
a wonderful calmness
as I contemplated his verdict
of bowel cancer

— Lenny of Cohen, Mar 28, 2008

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: GBR

Critiques

RSScheerer

18 years 2 months ago

powerful

From peace to hell, a punch in the stomach. Can almost hear the air being sucked out of the room. Can't imagine and don't want to, but you took me there. I'll also mention that I'm glad you're here to do so... ~ Ronda

barbsdad2003

18 years 2 months ago

I make quarterly ...

pilgrimages to the offices of my diabetic doctor. You captured here, in a brilliant stroke, the experience of awaiting doctor's entrance. "I was free from any expectancy" I might add "of approaching horror." I'm not suggesting that my words in quotes ought be placed anywhere in your piece. It's merely a sort of revelation of my own afterthoughts post-completion of my reading of the whole work. Thanx, Chuck

Lenny of Cohen

18 years 2 months ago

Thank you

both for your comments, which are very much appreciated. My comfort blanket is my surreal take on life, which brought me through this dark period. A week after seeing my consultant I was being operated on, the 12 hr op saw me lose 3 stones! I went from 16 down to 13 stones in a 12 hr diet!!! So 2004 saw me encounter my wonderful surgeon, who looked into me twice! In 2006 he removed my unwanted lodger - a desmoid tumour! Funnily enough I saw my surgeon again today for a check up, and he is pleased that my tumour hasn't returned; my genetic illness puts me at risk of more tumours and cancers!!! I knew buying that lottery ticket was a mistake!!! I laugh! Its my daily medicine, plus writing poetry and being a part of this wonderful community. So folks, have a nice day!!! Lenny

pinksheep

18 years 2 months ago

I especially like

some of the lines in this prose poem - last lines stanza 1 - 1st lines stanza 2- and the way you felt in the last stanza was extremely well written -sincerest regards Lesley- also liked 1st lines in 1st stanza-regards once more.

themoonman

18 years 2 months ago

Lenny..

I don't know how this has escaped my screen.. about halfway through I relized it was the doctors office..the clean silence. Well written poem and thank you for sharing such a personal experiance with us here... like Ronda said..this piece packs quite the punch.. Richard

weirdelf

17 years 12 months ago

There is nothing like truth in poetry.

Or life. You set an example to all poets by your courageous adherence to truth. I can not say more. cheers, Jess