Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

A Drunkards View



Enticed on entering:.... ByAvailing neon signs,Through half open doors;.... MutedAre the sounds-Mellowed into one,Vision dancing, to oblique-Star like crystals; ……..Vaporising, The air thickened; …..Rimmed,Like a mattress; …… tinged,With a blue hue; …. AcidityDrawn to; …….. Eyes, nose, and throat, Couple’s conversant, in titillation,Others way-laid with;... Intentions,Which are so very blue,   Slumped across table’s,Lay the forgotten few, Their gods, standing; …. Ranked,Like soldiers; optically mounted,Waited on,To be served too,Slaves still standing,Waiting to be succumbed,To their masters intoxication, Perfusion, of voice’s; …Mixed, - with,The clinking, of empty glasses, bottles,Which were once; …….Majestic gods,Promises aired; ……… cocktailed;With lies and deceit,Forgiveness, - given;Until the next drink,  Horrified, mortified,Dragged to their feet,The slaves, poisoned,By their masters, fleeced,Of their saving,The bell rings; …. And,The barman shouts,“Last Orders Please”      ~~~~~~~~~~        The End.

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: GBR

More from this author

Comments

P

poewriter58

18 years 1 month ago

title

The only thing that bothers me about his poem is it's title I stopped to read it because of the author and not he title you want something with more force to pull our reader to the poem to start and make them wonder what it's contents is I lost one and am losing anothe to this slave so the topic has deep meaning for me Chrys
R

rider68

18 years 1 month ago

Hi Chrys

I have struggled with the Title,It has been stripped down and re-written, The Orignal Title was, A Drunken Bum, When i posted....I had it as A Drunken View, Didn't feel right changed it to.......as is. But that aside I am quite pleased with this.. Just the title, Thanks Chrys for taking the time to read, hope it hasn't touch on any painful nerves, I too have seen several close members succumb to the booze, Thanks Always Peter
P

poewriter58

18 years 1 month ago

Peter

what then of a slight title change A drunkards View? Chrys
P

poewriter58

18 years 1 month ago

Peter

Thank you for using my suggestion it makes me feel good when I am able to help Chrys
R

rider68

18 years 1 month ago

Thanks Chrys

Your very Welcome, Thank you for your interest and continued views, and Yes Love the Title (Thank-you) Respectfully Peter
R

rider68

18 years 1 month ago

Thanks Gary

It's So Great to get Positive feedback, being quite new to this side of me, Currently, I am trying to convey and picture the moment, (If that makes sense) Since joining this site, I have read some very deep and powerful scripts, A real challenge, of exercising the brain and engaging the heart. Very Many Thanks Respectfully Peter