Lady Evelyn

Hi there, jsut wanted to bring a couple of small things up. Firstly well done on getting it on paper, if I had been writing when my gran passed away I don't think I'd have the strength, kudos. In any case if you want to refine it and make it better, not saying you have to or anything, you could change a couple of things: number one I thought the repetition of "unkept yard" didn't really work, I think it works better in the second instance than the first. Secondly I found the start of the last stanza to be very jarring, it seems out of place with the rest of the sentiments, although hard nosed humour is often the best medecine. Hope that's ok, again, much strength, well done. Kieran "Mind, how you go!" - Roger McGough's poem for LSD Awareness Week

Smiles:) Barbara Really good, feeling well expressed here.

we got the call around 8. I stopped outside everything done but the telling, When it comes, and one significant one for me came around the same time of day, stops everything for a while and your poem deals with that moment perfectly. Pleides

I read this poem before you revised it..the last stanza is gone.. I liked the feeling you wanted to say in it but I don't think you had nailed it.. everythings coming up roses.. I can see you now reaching for your roses commenting on the bad hospitality and always the lady I don't expect you'll use this but maybe it gives you an idea on how to put roses in the poem.. I like your writing.. Richard