Hawks aloft

The poets attitude toward poets is evident. S/he thinks them too focused on 'higher' values, and disapproves. The elegant passages up to L12 lead the reader into a kind of trap. One is led to expect a paean to nobility, but with L13--which really should be set apart with something more substantial than the mere dash--one is brought suddenly to earth, where flies and shit claim attention. Parallels are drawn, and they are indisputable. Fly and hawk alike pursue food and sex; both are able fliers. But one is taken as symbol of virtue, and the other is not. This contrast--which reflects how the reader has been instructed--is the deep theme, and I think it a worthy finding by this poet. The argument is compelling: we favor the eagle over the fly--and the poet asks us 'why?' Not waiting for our answer, the poet ends the poem abruptly, with 'I think it wrong,' but we are left with the thematic question to answer for ourselves. How, exactly, is the hawk more noble than a horsefly? Thence, how is 'noble' superior to 'humble'? The poetic scheme is almost childish. Tetrameter? Iambs? Abab? Could it be any simpler? Why? The poet is dropping a think bomb here. The aim is to put some lines into the reader's head in memorable shape, and the simple rhyme scheme serves that purpose. It's a nice call, but this critic wonders whether the simple rhyme scheme might not have attenuated the useful insight of the theme. The extension of the poet's mild rebuke (of the conventional use of raptor metaphor) with 'feathered fliers' is a questionable move. It could, in some readers, mitigate the effect felt up to L22. On the other hand, it might enhance the effect, with some readers. This critic, however, thinks it a risky poetic maneuver; it puts a positive gain at risk, for a rather small possible additional benefit.

I thought it'd be fun to pompose at my own poem.

Birds in the titles of poems on the tracker; therefore I will throw my bird poems in there, too.