Lillith ; Part II

Wow, she sounds REALLY dangerous! I like especially the opening stanza of this cool, scary write.

Really liked this, wonder if you were to lengthen it slightly, and put a build into the rhythm so it became more like sex, screwing, lustful? Just a thought. You may want to just leave it alone, for it works. Is there a part one, should I investigate?

OK Lacy this one gets us all steamed up waiting for some poor unsuspecting Adam to lose his control and we dont get beyond the immediate possession of his soul. I was waiting for a final verse or two that would show the intense physical and emotional effects produced by her possession of his senses, heart and mind....well i'm sure you know what I mean. However, the first three verses are really compelling and have great imagery and flow. I was just left with the unsatisfying feeling of a premature..........so have pity and evolve this one for us please. lol. Keith

I missed this and had to go back and find it after I saw Part III (which I will read next). If it feels forced when you try to lengthen it, then absolutely do not do it. Taking into consideration the fact that you are presenting it in multiple parts explains (and allows) different lengths for each piece. A poet knows when they have said all they can for one piece. Chances are good that you will pick it up and satisfy all these crazy men wanting more up here...LOL Looking forward to reading the next installment, Lacy. ~ Ronda