The Little Death

with Alobar on this one- I did enjoy it Kieran...very good and a lots to think of....cheers LadyTheresa :)

Initially I thought this was about rape unril I saw the following comments. Kieren this is excellent. Its a very powerful piece of writing and as was said the perepective it has been written from is really interesting and it works, extremely well. You took me there and even though it was an uncomfortable experience you kept me there and opened my eyes. This could be applied to so many situations - well done. Kaz It's impossible to smile on the outside without feeling better on the inside.

I believe it is the last line of stanza four that bothers me the most. It is at odds with the rest of the poem. Otherwise this is very good. It kind of reminds me of my poem (posted) "Traitor Within", as it has much in common. Always, Cat

I think your title is right on. I have been there, dying in small increments until the whole of me was completely fragmented. I think the poem is about sexual abuse, am I wrong? I also feel it has the potential for being an excellent poem. oops... just reread the whole thing... excellent! Always, Cat

very powerful captures the strangeness and confusion of what i assume is the first time if im wrong forgive me but thaat is what i got out of it the mixture of pain fear and pleasure is a powerful emotion

After the loss of her virginity she is discarded; makes one wonder of the character of the man she was with, and the relationship that ended then, she now used, discarded, waste. Sexual experience is so different for everyone, and then yet again for the different genders, and yet one more time, for the virgin. How many of us think of the others, I'm not talking being unselfish, I'm talking about the other's mind, character and feeling? How they approach it--their expectation, their desire, their reaction and, eventually, their memory. This poem made me consider her point of view solely, yet seemed written from without, from a distance--not the man's but some all-seeing eye, omniscient and yet not commenting on the character of the man. I want to feel angry at the man, seemingly so callous, so wrong. But we don't know anything about him. He is not defined nor considered. He too is discarded. Interesting. There's a lot to chew on there, and yet it's just a "first time," happens every day--ahh, the myriade of experiences that make up human existence, thank God we have poetry to record them all! Thank you, I enjoyed the read, and the paths my mind went down as a result.

You have written a very good piece here..powerful images of the everyone goes through things...very good. In the fifth stanza, she feel, maybe she feels...but that was all I saw wrong..nice rythm to the poem, great title with a wonderfully vivid picture of the moment.