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A

Romantic Poem

when wings were mine

in long ago

and I was able to fly and live

amongst the birds and clouds and air,

your eyes in body not now your own

gazed as tulip’s cup engulfed sunlight

and devoured down my flying form;

i was bursting-star brilliant because of your audience

and died

to change to flower

and at least exist in the garden of your world

sharing each other’s food and earth

and growing together

to be consumed and devoured by the same eye.

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Country/Region: CAN

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P

poewriter58

18 years 1 month ago

try this line out

try this line out among the birds, clouds and air it takes away the and , and , and perhaps you may consider exchanging line one and two example in long ago When wings were mine of course as always just suggestions this is a different approach to stating how you feel . It works nicely Chrys
A

Alobar

18 years 1 month ago

This is a hard poem, I

This is a hard poem, I don't fully get it myself. I am glad, however, that someone chose to comment. I will be long thinking over this work, I would imagine, and your comments will most definitely be taken into account. Thanks for taking the time.