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A
Alobar
Mar 14, 2008 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Grey House

 

Grey house

Starry sky

Barren field, a few trees

And quiet

So much quiet it makes one warm –

I had peace here

For a spell

But now

The quiet

The stars

The grey house and the barren field

Only make me deaf

To the music around me.

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: CAN

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Comments

C

Conect11

18 years 1 month ago

you've captured

the feeling of former beauty, perceived former beauty very well here. I like that your lines are short, and to the point. I think the final line, while I appreciate the sentiment, seems to me a bit trite and sudden, imho. Mark W.
A

Alobar

18 years 1 month ago

It’s interesting to hear

It's interesting to hear the complaints of others. They are never what you expect, are they? I love the end of the poem, feel it ties the sound metaphor up so well; it is the beginning I was a little uncertain of, and expected complaint on. Thank you, I will think on this. The therapy nature of the poem is long past, time to approach it with the craftsman's eye.
A

abrelosojos

18 years 1 month ago

Really loved the simpicity

Really loved the simpicity to this poem. I can feel the sadness in your words. i look forward to reading more of your work :) Don't forget me --I won't remember anything else.
themoonman

themoonman

18 years 1 month ago

short and full...

of imagery..to me it shows how life has become dreary for your character..thank you for posting.