One Evening

With a gentle touch of her hand
Upon a tired brow
She cooled my heart somehow
And, if you will allow,
My soul was soothed as well.

Without a discourse or demand
I felt my life at ease,
Harmony, if you please
And in such times as these
What greater gift to tell?

I sat silently entranced and
Marveled at such a sight
Within my life tonight
A peaceful calm delight
And felt my heart compel

My thoughts, if you can understand,
To thank, with bow'ed head
To sigh with joy unshed,
To say things left unsaid
And never speak "farewell."

— Pugilist, Mar 12, 2008

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Jacksonville area, FL, USA, USA

Favorite Poets: Keats, Kipling, Carroll, Yeats, Tolkien, Shakespeare

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Critiques

Calliope

18 years 2 months ago

I thought the ...

...theme throughout was steady and true.I really liked it. I am an 'embracer',lol. I like also the emotion,the love that comes across in this poem.Good one,poet. Lacy Where power corrupts,poetry cleanses.

Jonathan Moore

18 years 2 months ago

Thank you

For your time and review. I've gotten folks questioning the poem because it doesn't present enough passion. Since it's not about passion, it's a fair argument. I don't write a lot of love poetry and I don't feel love poetry, in general, ages well, which is why I wanted to concentrate on something other than physical attraction. For while I am all for physical attraction, describing why someone is physically beautiful will always create a jarring note. Describing why one may deeply and committedly love another and want to spend a life with them; that, to me, speaks deeper. But, as I say; Art is communication and poetry is art and if my intent does not translate, the fault is mine for I have aimed for too narrow an audience. In this case, I may be OK with that.

Kieran Nelson

18 years 2 months ago

I did understand the message

I did understand the message of what you were saying and it was ncie. However i didn't really like the actual form itself, once I got to stanza 3 the 3 b rhymes were begining to get a little tired. Also in line 4, of stanza 3, should it not - to continue the rhyme scheme - be "quite" and not "quiet"? Kieran "Mind, how you go!" - Roger McGough's poem for LSD Awareness Week

Jonathan Moore

18 years 2 months ago

So the trend continues

And I mean that only in an observational way. You make valid points and I've heard the same notice about line 4 in stanza 3. It's probably my southern ear that smooths "quiet" enough for me to stand it but I will revisit the line for a smoother read. I believe with another subject the rhyme scheme might be more compelling. With the: 8 A 6 B 6 B 6 B 6 C I was trying to establish a falling rhythm the pulled the reader toward resolution. This has not been my most successful execution. I appreciate your insight and comments, thank you for taking the time to review and offer your suggestions/critique.