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The Apparition

One day I sat in an arbor, on the shores of Pearl Harbor.   As I gazed and reflected on the past, I began to think of the deadly bombs blast.   When I looked up again I began to see The harbor waters were filled with debris.   As I surveyed the scene in confusion, there before me I saw a horrible illusion.   The image of a large ship sat before me, glowing, gray and misty on the sea.   As I watched mesmerized by the site, I could feel the horror of their plight.   The smells of smoke thick and acrid in the air, the thundering blast of bombs and the glare.   The cries of pain, shock and fear, were so real, they are still vividly clear.   As I covered my eyes with my hands, I heard the sobbing of people on the sands.   When I finally uncovered my face, The ship was gone, the debris, not a trace.   I’ll always remember what happened that day, That America is never again attacked, I will pray.
— bayoujeanette, Mar 12, 2008

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slybard

slybard

18 years 2 months ago

the Imagery

i love the imagery...and the poem.I thought it was Pearl harbor not Pear Harbor. Josh
B

bayoujeanette

18 years 2 months ago

Thanks for the comments

I'm glad you liked it and thanks for catching the error. I have fixed it. Jeanette
dhruv

dhruv

18 years 2 months ago

nice pace

reminds me of every war that people have wasted lives in. makes me wonder why it happens at all well written, apart from Pear(L) Harbor's spelling, but that's a harmless typo-o.
R

rwc88...

18 years 2 months ago

the apparition

J, very visual. i was there nearby every word. good grasp at using imagination in well-rhymed scheme. consider your meter, your internal timing/comparison/one line to next line of each 2 line stanza. jus' my opine. read it out loud to yourself. over and over til you know you're satisfied. listen to your speed of speech - almost perfect - also good as it is. a word here, a word there drop. good poem and great title. you must leave all that surrounds you i see, maybe often. i know your area - is the spanish moss gone? write of it. write of it out loud, in black and white, from childhod to now. please. you've a way with rhyme schemes i've noted. peace and be well, wheel...