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C
Calliope
Mar 12, 2008 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Empty Books

Sometimes I feel ,

I've lost my soul.

I  don't know where it is .

I can feel,

that empty spot,

where my soul shold go.

But I feel that it has left me.

Left me all alone.

And I've lost the will

 to even look.

For  if I am without  a soul,

I'm like an empty book...

 

What's the point?

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: New York, USA

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Comments

asiajy

asiajy

18 years 1 month ago

Hey there

You're missing the "u" for "should" in the sixth line. Probably just a typo.
K

Kieran Nelson

18 years 1 month ago

Hi there, loved the flow of

Hi there, loved the flow of the peice and it's nicely done. Can I make a few suggestions? Line 7, I'd suggest cutting in in half as follows and make it 2 lines: "But I feel/ that it has left me." Also I would suggest getting rid of line 11, it's just repeating the same idea, and line 13 too, all the energy is lost here, I'd end the poem with line 12. Sorry if that's a little extreme, but I jsut think it'd flow perfect and have a nice ending. Kieran "Mind, how you go!" - Roger McGough's poem for LSD Awareness Week
Candlewitch

Candlewitch

18 years 1 month ago

Hello,

In my opinion, the repetition of "my soul" makes for a bumpy read. Perhaps: "That empty spot Where it should go" or perhaps another word for soul, like spirit? On the whole, I like the idea behind the poem. Cat
M

marieycoronado

18 years 1 month ago

I could really feel this,

I could really feel this, nice... I feel like that sometimes but there is always a point Marie