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Electric Blue
Electric Blue
Mar 07, 2008 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

The Rose

Deep inside the rose

is as the sky on fire

what a wonderous glow

 

The warmth of two bodies

melt merge within

the beauty of the flowers

their colour so full of life

 

the way thier petals turn

inwards to the centre

as on a journey

of endless pleasure

 

lovers lost

in a sea of emotion

the colours darken - deepen

they are drawn

into the heart

of the rose

 

their strong sweet aroma

the essence of

lovers making love

 

overwhelmed completely

enveloped

within the folds

 

the waves encircle them

where two hearts

become one

so completely

 

 

— Electric Blue, Mar 07, 2008

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: GBR

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Critiques

EA

eric ashford

18 years 3 months ago

A rather well worn theme I

A rather well worn theme I am afraid and you add little to the Rose symbolism however, the first half of the poem is quite sweet and the simple imagery works, but then it gets predictable and heavy-handed. A good effort but I should take another look at it later on to see where you can write some stronger lines. All the best eric
P

purplemoondoll

18 years 2 months ago

The Rose works well here. It

The Rose works well here. It may be a well worn theme but this is still an enjoyable read. I like these lines:- lovers lost in a sea of emotion the colours darken - deepen they are drawn into the heart of the rose I think the only line I would possibly change is 'sea of emotion' - its a too well worn for me but I cannot think of an alternative. See what you think? Kaz It's impossible to smile on the outside without feeling better on the inside.