Candlewitch

Mar 06, 2008 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Nobody's Child

Doll-baby

tumbling

porcelain

fractures

spidery-web

cracks

all through

the plaster

painted smile

on lips alabaster

broken doll-baby

tumbling faster...

— Candlewitch, Mar 06, 2008

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Northwestern Wisconsin USA, USA

Favorite Poets: Edgar Allan Poe, William Blake, Bob Dylan, Tom Petty, Carlos Castaneda, Jim Morrison, the whole of Neopoet and many more., Candlewitch

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Critiques

IKnowNoBox

18 years 2 months ago

well wrote Candle Witch

when the message is delievered in a sing song voice it relates to the children who suffer at the hands of the child abuse. In ink, David

Candlewitch

18 years 2 months ago

Thank you for reading and

Thank you for reading and commenting. Sorry it took me so long to get back to you. I'm glad you can appreciate the piece. Always, Cat

purplemoondoll

18 years 3 months ago

This to me is your best poem so far. The images,flow, language and form are stunning. Beautifully written. Stunning work. Kaz It's impossible to smile on the outside without feeling better on the inside.

purplemoondoll

18 years 3 months ago

I read

your footnote after commenting. The fact that this about abuse makes this even more stunning. A brave poem, to be able to express yourself so eloquently speaks volumes. This gets a 5 from me :-) Kaz It's impossible to smile on the outside without feeling better on the inside.

Candlewitch

18 years 3 months ago

Thank you Kaz!

I'm glad you read my simple little poem. Writing is my way of engaging in therapy. It really is helpfully cleansing. Thank you for your thoughtful responses. Cat

poewriter58

18 years 3 months ago

Cat , Cat

Wow you hitting hard and batting a thousand excellent work just excellent Chrys

Candlewitch

18 years 3 months ago

Hey Chrys,

Thanks for your review, I know I can count on you. I know you will be there if I need to run something by or even if I just need to talk. Thanks for being you. Cat

Rob Graber

18 years 3 months ago

Disturbing and a little

Disturbing and a little depressing: not the kind of damage that can be fully repaired, is it? The "spidery-web / cracks" are especially vivid... Well done!

Candlewitch

18 years 3 months ago

Hi Rob,

If I caused that reaction in you, then my poem has done its job well. Not the kind of damage that can be completely fixed, but writing helps the most. It also helps that I do not hate the person, just their actions. Sometimes they are a bit hard to separate. Thanks for reading, Cat

RSScheerer

18 years 3 months ago

Nobody's Child

Wow, Cat....this is so powerful. Of course it's disturbing, considering the subject matter. It gave me chills. The thought of hearing it in a sing-song voice is absolutely haunting. You've given victims of child abuse a unique voice in a sea of voices. Wonderfully written, Cat. So very sad. ~ Ronda

Candlewitch

18 years 3 months ago

I’m so glad that you

I'm so glad that you understand... to write about something is not to wallow in it. To write about it is to keep it in the light of day and encourage others to come forward. Writing it was a healing experience. Thank you so very much for reading and sharing your thoughts with me. Cat

professor

18 years 3 months ago

Broken doll

Disturbing poem Cat. Loved the image of the ageing porcelain doll with all those spidery cracks on her fixed smiling face (brings to mind Victorian dolls). Since you ask about the title I am not sure myself although "Broken doll" came to mind. Bearing in mind what this is actually about perhaps "Discarded child" might be a possibility. Not sure whether it would be better to say "alabaster lips" rather than "lips alabaster" although i can see the latter might be better for the sing-song tone. Another really good poem Cat..Keith

Candlewitch

18 years 3 months ago

Thank you for your

Thank you for your suggestions, as usual you have some very good ideas. I think I will leave the title alone until I find one that really grabs me. Cat

eric ashford

18 years 3 months ago

Good one Cat a very powerful

Good one Cat a very powerful poem (suggest, you do not need L7) All the best eric

Candlewitch

18 years 3 months ago

Hello, my new friend! Your

Hello, my new friend! Your input and suggestions are highly appreciated and valued, because I know that you really care about the integrity of the poem. I am going to leave that line in because I feel it contributes to the sing-song tone of the reading. Cat

blistered-pen

18 years 2 months ago

Wow

I've never been physically abused but only sexually I have to say your poem really got to me I think I really felt your pain The pain will never fade but seeing as you're still standing & brave enough to share it with other people.. You're very strong It's admirable kudos hundredth-fold =) (your title made me feel sad as my dad left saying I hated him I honestly felt like nobody's child.. a great title choice, it definitely grabbed my eye when looking at your list of work)

Candlewitch

18 years 2 months ago

Hello,

I too have suffered sexual abuse, the first time, from age 13 to 15. (actually 12 1/2) and then again later in my 20's, so I do understand. It took me a long time to stop feeling guilty for something which wasn't my fault. Yes, I'm still standing, because of my poetry and my shrink, not to mention medication. Thank you for your kindness and I hope for all the best for you. Always, Cat