Love and Life

Is English your first language? You seem to be clueless. My advise to you is to work on one poem to get the language and meaning right then submit that rather than drop multiple crudely composed poems. All the best eric

My apologies, I have just noticed your address of Uganda. Still, my advice is the same. Take some time over the grammar try to get it right otherwise your poems may not be appreciated. Post only one poem a day, that will give you time to make sure the language is okay. All the best eric

Is just a bit rough in this one but the meaning is still crystal clear perhaps a little smoothing out is all it needs Chrys

You have a promising style and content to this poem but i feel you could develop your images a little more. For example you introduce the idea of a Great Potter but then don't extend it in any way to make some further association with the making or moulding of china, or a potters wheel etc. The poem feels a little like you were in a hurry to finish it. I would also avoid using abbreviations since they can be very confusing. As a medic SIRS means systemic inflammatory response syndrome and i am sure that is not what you really intend. On the positive side I liked the first two lines and the last three and hope that maybe you can just work on developing the middle a little more and make it into a really good poem. Keith