Butterfly

On a rose petal,serene as the sea;
beauty that Carribean sailors oft see
when storm's long gone and isles are nigh;
Dancing in the wind:A small butterfly

— slybard, Mar 05, 2008

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Kampala, Uganda, UGA

Favorite Poets: Jonathan Swift, Sarah Kay, William Shakespeare, Elizabeth Browning, Christina Rossetti, Grace Nichols, The Lantern Meet of Poets (the biggest and oldest society of poets in Uganda)

Critiques

Candlewitch

18 years 3 months ago

Hello,

Very delicate and eloquent imagery. It makes me hungry for more. Cat

slybard

18 years 3 months ago

thanx

thanx..well that's how it's supposed to make you feel...it's one of my vices...i love to leave the reader guessing or thinking.

poewriter58

18 years 3 months ago

ugh

Where is the rest of it? So beautiful it needs to be longer Chrys

slybard

18 years 3 months ago

no way!

the suspense works well for me....if i make it longer though,it'll be lost.

professor

18 years 3 months ago

More please

This is a great first verse that cries out to be continued. Not that i am recommending length for the sake of it, this is about taking a theme and extending and developing it in a poem so that the reader comes away satisfied....this is just the appetiser. Keith

slybard

18 years 3 months ago

i understand…but i guess i

i understand...but i guess i wanted to,like Chrys puts it,"tease" the reader...get you going and then leave you hanging...

blistered-pen

17 years 9 months ago

I give you 5 stars

because you've done what I can't seem to do. write something short, beautiful and complete with perfect imagery. I don't feel it needs to be longer. I like how it ended with that simple but gorgeous picture of a lone butterfly 'dancing in the wind'. I say beautiful work there slybard kudos