my prince. my monster. Patoum

And see how it looks and feels and sounds. Not being a technopoet I have no idea what a pantoum is lol Maybe you can send it to me in a PM and then I can have another look as I was just calling it as I saw it. The only structured poetry I know is haiku lol Joy and Peace, mark

Thank you so much for the lesson on structure it is much appreciated :) I just have one suggestion with it now and it is related to my previous comment. I wonder what it would feel like if it was written in past tense and if you like it more than the present you might re-submit it in past tense. Good luck and kudos for you on the lesson :) Mark

I've been dealing with bi polar from 1973. Never had a drinking problem because I take care of me self. But I can only imagine that it would make one even more moody and extremly trying to deal with. This being a true story from you I can only say you might get hurt and should do what ya need to do. mt my Mark

I've never met/known/seen a bi polar person, so I can't say that I know what it's like, because I don't. I do imagine that drinking would make the condition worse. The poem, though, was very nice, however, i wasn't compleatly sure what was going on ( though I warn you, that could just be my somewhat lack of intelligence) yet you can still tell that something is dreadfully wrong, and it puts the reader in a good perspective of things.

is very revealing..suffering for love should not be acutual bruises...take care of yourself...isn't there a beanstalk around somewhere? My ex was a diagnosed schyzophrenic with drinking and drug problems..you can't fix everyone. good luck.. keep poeming.

the truth are good in the eyes of those who read them. When it comes from there; your truth and your "self" it is lovely. It's a dichotomy that will find it's end, on one side or the other. Take care, I enjoyed this poem very much.

I think it was a good poem and I'm glad you are not in that situation. I have a brother who suffers from Bipolar but he doesn't drink and is not violent thank God. But having been in an abusive situation I know the fear and pain. I'm glad you are ok and away form that situation. Thanks, Jeanette

OK, the philosophy aside, your poem sort of reads like a song but it is short for one which is not so good for a song I think and also the theme I really don't think would work. If you give it choruses where there is repitition - I awake in the morning .... His strong arms ... it just might work but I'm not sure. Otherwise you might take out the repetitive expressions and leave one but expound where the other was. Basically make the poem a bit longer and remove what repeats. Some ideas for you along the line of what I might do :) good luck, Mark note: please be careful about writing about abusive issues in the future as you can see we think they are hapening now not a past thing. You can always write an annotation in the comment section under your poem when done entering it to avoid this :)