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Raped by Incubi

the dark corners

of the room

closed in,

the air felt stale

and heavy,

my hands

and face

grew cold

as i exhaled

a breath of frost,

i looked around

at the shadows,

undulating

and growing,

moans of anger

and frustration

echoed through the room,

i felt i couldn't breath,

as if hands

were around my neck,

suddenly,

i could breathe again,

then a breeze

slapped across my face,

my cheek began to sting,

my mouth to bleed,

I was stunned at the sudden attack,

unseen yet,obviously there,

i was afraid,

afraid of the unknown,

afraid of death,

afraid ,ecspecially,

of what would come next,

as if with the thought,

i was thrown to the bed,

invisible hands held me down,

my night clothes

were torn from my body,

i felt several hands

pinching and bruising,

i screamed my panic and fear,

a mighty wind ,

pushed apart my thighs,

then there was a jarring pain,

where none should ever be,

no one was there to hear my terror,

no one to stop the pain,

amid my screaming,

my pleading,

my terror,

my cries,

i was brutally raped

by Incubi.

 

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: New York, USA

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Comments

professor

professor

18 years 2 months ago

Enough re-write demons

Its great now Lacy as far as I am concerned, just the right combination of emotion and stark brutality. No more changes I hope! You are indeed brave to write so frankly and well about this traumatic experience. Keith
C

Calliope

18 years 2 months ago

Thankz Keith!

For all your comments and advice .You all help me here at neopoet and I agree it is now perfect the way it is.Thanks to all of you! Lacy, Where power corrupts,poetry cleanses.
C

Calliope

18 years 2 months ago

P.S.

You should all revote.LOL!!! Lacy, Where power corrupts,poetry cleanses.
B

bayoujeanette

18 years 2 months ago

Incubi

I can still feel the fear, cold & pain. Very descriptive wording. Dark, evil & violent..Good write. Jeanette
professor

professor

18 years 2 months ago

Raped by nightmares

Disturbing, dark and violent Lacy. Personally i thought perhaps you could have been more descriptive of your feelings and developed the imagery more in the second half of the poem. The first part is great but then the next one comes across a little matter of fact in places so the tone of fear does not quite dominate as much as it could. Keith (PS there's a typo at the end "pleading")
E

eric ashford

18 years 2 months ago

Lacy I liked the poem, yes

Lacy I liked the poem, yes its dark but its also erotic. If it were mine, I would work on the erotic more. This kind of astral sex is not always a terrible experience! You can still keep the dark and fearful quality in the work. I would make it a one to one not a kind of psychic gang-rape thing, but of course if it was a real felt-experience for you then you must tell it how it was. Good work eric
O

orgami

18 years 2 months ago

incubus

wow a very descriptive poem i have read a lot of books on abuse abuse figures so much in life so many we are animals taking what we want from the land from social circumstances of lesser peoples war economies trade slave shops streets familys in need forests mineral rights fishing etc but person to person as you have aptly described is incredible love your poems you spell it out as it is not as it was bravo!!!!! O
E

eric ashford

18 years 2 months ago

Good revision I think the

Good revision I think the last line is redundant though as the poem is obvious and does not need to be further underlined. Good job! eric
C

Calliope

18 years 2 months ago

Thanx for the comments

But I think the saying it'I was raped by Incubi' is what is the healing part of this trauma,it needs to be said,imo. Lacy, Where power corrupts,poetry cleanses.
E

eric ashford

18 years 2 months ago

Yes but Lacy you have

Yes but Lacy you have already said that in big bold letters in your title. eric
C

Calliope

18 years 2 months ago

Yes in the title

But not by the victim,and any victim knows or has been told saying it helps the healing.I think I'll leave it. Thanks, Lacy, Where power corrupts,poetry cleanses.
asiajy

asiajy

18 years 2 months ago

just fine

I like it the way it is. I didn't think it was meant to be erotic and it shouldn't come off that way. If it is from the victim point of view, most victims don't say "that rape was so degrading and painful, yet sexy." That's creepiness beyond even my liking. (or is it?)
C

Calliope

18 years 2 months ago

No!It isn't sexy at all.

I have to agree,rape is not sexy or funny in any way ,but I guess you can't dictate anybody elses thoughts or feelings. I am glad you like it the way it is.And to also answer another question posted,I was gang raped. Yet,it wasn't metaphysical.This is just thoughts and feelings put in a different way.A sort of healing,I guess.But thank you everyone for your comments and suggestions ,but now ,I think it is good the way it is.Nothing else changes and nothing else added.Hope more people like it this way, too. Lacy Where power corrupts,poetry cleanses.