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She is the Night


She is the Night
(by: c.m.m.)

She was deepest night
And she fell all ‘round him
Caressing his body like a silken suit.
Sometimes she was soft as rose petals,
Touching his face with all the ease
And grace of warm springtime.


She was darkest night
And her friend, the moon, had left her,
As, timidly, she came upon him,
Whispering in his ear like rustling leaves
In haunted  woods
Where Autumn breaks brisk and laden.


She was deadliest night
And she came hard upon him
Like the calm before the storm
When the wind comes sighing,
Sending him chasing after his hat
While she deliciously laughed
As she and I are one, We are the night!


— Candlewitch, Feb 29, 2008

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Northwestern Wisconsin USA, USA

Favorite Poets: Edgar Allan Poe, William Blake, Bob Dylan, Tom Petty, Carlos Castaneda, Jim Morrison, the whole of Neopoet and many more., Candlewitch

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More from this author

Critiques

EA

eric ashford

18 years 3 months ago

will add my qulified praise

will add my qulified praise for this work Cat. The weakest stanza IMO is the second one. tinkling bells- fairy woods --- crisp and even -- all are uninspired. I am glad you took the suggestion re: white space. A worthy effort but it needs a little work. eric
RSScheerer

RSScheerer

18 years 3 months ago

She is the Night

Nice, Cat. Haven't seen the darker side of you too often; as you said, you keep it hidden. Nice to see it step out into the "light" here. ~ Ronda
C

Calliope

18 years 3 months ago

Brava!!

```` its all been said already. Lacy, Where power corrupts,poetry cleanses.
Electric Blue

Electric Blue

18 years 3 months ago

She is Night

Hi Cat found this site hope to explore more Keep the title This is awesome i could feel the sensation the emotions so powerful amazing my friend Maggie R
P

purplemoondoll

18 years 3 months ago

Awesome writing. I like the

Awesome writing. I like the progression at the beginning of each stanza - that works really well. These lines are brilliant:- She was deadliest night And she came hard upon him Like the calm before the storm When the wind comes sighing, Delicious imagery, beautifully written, the flow is really smooth and carries the story extremely well. I really enjoyed reading this - several times. :-) Kaz It's impossible to smile on the outside without feeling better on the inside.
P

poewriter58

18 years 3 months ago

My Two Cents

Dear girl for what it is worth I like distant and clear also keep the title as is say hi to Styx for me will you lol nice work Cat Chrys
Candlewitch

Candlewitch

18 years 2 months ago

Hi Kaz

I don't know how I missed this post, but I apologize for it taking me so long to respond. Thank you so much for reading! Always, Cat
Candlewitch

Candlewitch

18 years 2 months ago

Hi Chrys!

You must know by now that your comments and suggestions are always welcome. Always, Cat
Candlewitch

Candlewitch

18 years 3 months ago

Hi Maggie!

Thanks for the support! It is so good to see you here. I hope to see more of you and your talented work. Hugs, Cat
Candlewitch

Candlewitch

18 years 3 months ago

Hello eric,

I just wanted you to know that I haven't rejected your opinion about that line. I have been working on it, but until I come up with something better to take its place, I'll just let it stand. Sometimes it takes me awhile for my muse to kick me in the butt and get me going. :) Cat
Candlewitch

Candlewitch

18 years 3 months ago

No sooner...

No sooner did I write this reply then an idea came to me. I hope this version is better... it feels better to me. Cat
T

TheRealTearsICry

18 years 3 months ago

.

i liked it.
Candlewitch

Candlewitch

18 years 3 months ago

:)

Thank you for telling me, and I'm glad that you liked it! Cat
A

abrelosojos

18 years 3 months ago

yeah

i think you should keep that title. its is simple and lady night is kind of cheesy. i enjoyed the ending the most :)
Candlewitch

Candlewitch

18 years 3 months ago

*

Thank you very much for your input. I think you are right, after thinking about the title, Lady Night does sound kind of cheesy. Cat
W

waterdragon

18 years 3 months ago

This is lovely

with excellent use of metaphor! If it's OK w/u, I'd like to offer a suggestion -- I think this beautiful piece would be even more so if you added some white space between your verses -- something about white space allows the mind to pause and take in what it has just read before moving to the next vivid picture. Reverend Bec Hudson Shine Your Light It's the ONLY Way to Get Rid of the Darkness!
Candlewitch

Candlewitch

18 years 3 months ago

Hi Reverend!

I always welcome suggestions and I have found yours to be most helpful! I tried it out and you are right... it looks better! Thank you for your suggestion and feel free to make all the suggestions that you feel might be useful. Cat
Janice Pearce

Janice Pearce

18 years 3 months ago

She Is The Night

I liked this all the way through! "We Are The Night", for a title~ don't really know~Janice
Candlewitch

Candlewitch

18 years 3 months ago

Hi Janice!

I'm glad that you liked my poem. Thank you for your suggestion! Have a great weekend! Cat
professor

professor

18 years 3 months ago

Night predator

I did not have you down as a night predator Cat but I rather like your night, a little frightening but alluring at the same time..lol. I really enjoyed this in terms of its tone, imagery and flow. My only small concern was the use of the all too familiar "crisp and even"...i just cant help that conjuring up the image of Good King Wenceslas and that was clearly not appropriate here. Keith
Candlewitch

Candlewitch

18 years 3 months ago

Thanks Keith

I think there is a bit of the night predator in most of us. I generally keep that side of me well hidden. The line, "Where Autumn broke crisp and even," Would it be better represented with; "Where Autumn broke distinct and clear?" (or sharp and clear?) Thank you for taking the time to help me out with this! Cat
professor

professor

18 years 3 months ago

Crisp and even

Hi Cat, i know you like me to make suggestions so i will try. Crisp and even is very much a winter image rather than an autumnal one...as well as being somewhat cliched due to the famous Christmas Carol. I would have tried to capture the colour and atmosphere of autumn and so, for example might have expressed this as "russet-leaf damp" or some other combination. Keith
themoonman

themoonman

18 years 3 months ago

Hi Cat...

I like the poem...Night Delicacies..was the theme for me if I read it correctly...but your title does work..thanks for posting.
Candlewitch

Candlewitch

18 years 3 months ago

Hi Moonman!

In this piece I have shown a peek at my darkside. I'm glad that you liked it. Thank you for your viewpoint. I am always interested in what you have to say. Cat
Rob Graber

Rob Graber

18 years 3 months ago

“Deepest,”

"Deepest," "darkest," and "deadliest": I really like the way this is structured, and the poem is for me attractively spooky! PS: I like the present title; standard would be to capitalize the "is" though.