In Your Frame

I could only

sketch something with a face.
your comfort was in
    making lines, structure.

you liked buildings and their
corners.

and you were so quiet. ( I connect with that)
you had your high walls, those doors.
I thought about you

        penciled in small
in my yesterday,
                 and me swollen there
               not understanding.

— whitetea, Feb 27, 2008

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Chrystos, Mark Strand, Adrienne Rich, Naomi Shihab Nye, Rachel M. Simon, Donald Justice, Mary Oliver, Nikki Giovanni, Alice Walker, Bukowski, Mary Lambert

Critiques

eric ashford

18 years 3 months ago

Enjoyed. I suggest that if

Enjoyed. I suggest that if you cut the second line in the last stanza it will read better and make more impact. Well poemed eric

rider68

17 years 11 months ago

Deep and Moving

Hi Whitetea Quite simplistic, yet deep and very meaningful, a sad account of some one too wrapped up within their work, left unnoticed, I liked this alot Best Regards Peter ~~~~~~~~~Creativity Is to think more efficiently~~~~~~~~~~

orgami

17 years 8 months ago

jangle morning I come following...Bob Dylan

This poem blew me away Your work I dont know I cant say anything other then they are like patterns in nature natural patterns like braille for my mind

whitetea

17 years 8 months ago

>

Orgami, thankyou, you must have had to go back a bit to find this one. I am trying to write so many blurred thoughts out at once all I can say is thankyou.

Esker

15 years 10 months ago

On retracing steps

first of a few Re comments I re read this after finally facing who Orgami was about myself and like a death of caricature the real sense still finds its way through much like the link to your great poetry I still love the way you can write three years later and Im still so much a big fan of your cleverly and stylish writes they are an exploration of sight and word (I'm shaking my head as I write) as Ive already given stars I cannot again but stick with my original five offering from before YOur Poet Freind Steven

blistered-pen

15 years 10 months ago

Hm, I think I agree eric up

Hm, I think I agree eric up there because"me swollen there" doesn't fit with the straight lines you've drawn in your poem unless that's how you're contrasting yourself to him/her, they're about lines and corner and straight edges while you're just some swollen out of place thing. Oh, I get it now. I think I just helped myself understand your poem while writing that. I think. I like it, it's simple but I feel there are more layers to it, things I'd find if I looked at it more. I like that. JRS