Hokus Pokus and Bogus

I welcome constructive criticism Kieran, and so I have responded to your points below:- K: Firstly I found the flow of the poem to be broken in a few places, I suggest you read back over and have a check, unless that’s what you want. LoC: The style of my poem is, to my mind, the true style appropriate to its content. I did not want a smooth run, as then the impact would be lost. Its rythm allows the reader to digest, and then proceed. K: Also I’d have to say the your mentioning of 9/11 and 7/7, while important to your poem, have not been represented nearly enough LoC: I deliberately kept this to a minimun, as most people are aware of what took place. Otherwise the aim of the poem would have become polluted, and I would have ended up in the wrong destination. K: I found the piece to be overall immature and somewhat lazy, LoC: I disagree with these observations as I never write immature or lazy pieces of writing. Each composition I create is done so with immense care and thought. K: these comments you can hear from anyone, you could have expressed this in a better way. LoC: So far no one has recipricated any of your comments. I have had people comment about their view on 9/11 or 7/7, some have even taken another look at the events; so its aim has been achieved. K: I enjoy politically minded prose but I feel that if your going to make such a large statement; i.e that terrorism is a cover up, then it has to be expressed in a wider sense. LoC: I agree and I disagree!!! Why must it be expressed in a wider sense ? Their are many ways to deliver a message, on this occasion I chose a simplistic route. Seven years on from 9/11 some people are tiring of it, and so for them the easy read suits! Sometimes simple does the trick ! PS I have corrected a few typo errors - that was me being lazy !!!