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you will see what i see

if you can see me chestised and sore

and seek to wonder further,more

and more,about my unswollen sore eyes

that's as sulken blue as silent skies

do not bother,you'll be there too 

 

you'll be drawn by one,and carresed

by her soon to fade touch,and resist

brother i beg,resist,less you lie

beneath a place where the whole world lies

 

the rain can take the storm by storm

if it be drenched than windy,the worm

can entangle and twine,if it be salted

 

what then is the bitter sweet salt

in soup,and tragedy of heart-break

 

love

— emeka ozurumba, Feb 09, 2008

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Nigeria , abuja

Favorite Poets: christopher okigbo, wole soyinka, gabriel okara , odiah ofeimun- john keats, p.b shelley

More from this author

Critiques

weirdelf

weirdelf

18 years 3 months ago

poe, what can I say?

If that's all you've got to say, you would be better to shut up. Ignorant dismissal of other people's poetry is not what this site or any decent human is about. If you don't like it say why, coherently. cheers, Jess
P

poewriter58

18 years 4 months ago

Did you mean to use the word

Did you mean to use the word Chastised? This was a little easier to understand Then the language of love and hurt is universal isn't it? correct spelling--caressed this site has a great feature spell check believe me I would be lost without it right hand click on any word underlined in red and your correct spelling appears no poem should be called stupid, an honest effort was made to write ones feelings out and perhaps give the author some relief ah but then we cannot all be erfect can we It is just a difference in the cultures I would like you to try another poem I will be watching for it Chrys
T

Taurus1970

18 years 4 months ago

I enjoyed the deepness of

I enjoyed the deepness of the feelings of loss you were conveying in this piece. I like how the first two paragraphs perhaps are meant to warn the new love currently in the life of the woman who was lost...I would love to understand a bit more about what you were trying to portray with the last two paragraphs...salting a worm makes them shrivel and die (and maybe you meant 'entangle and entwine'??) I also was wondering if the reference you made to the 'bittersweet salt in soup' are tears. Additionally, I'd like to say 'Bravo' and thank you to Chrys for mentioning that no poem should be called stupid, because I agree. Comments, constructive criticisms, thoughts, ponderings, musings, questions and suggestions seem to be the environment the neopoet site supports and encourages.