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KN
Kieran Nelson
Feb 06, 2008 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

The Brain

The brain really is amazing lets all face the facts. Turns mathematics into words and thoughts into equations. Remembers every single thought that ever was thunk It will take that moment from yesterday on the train where that man smiled at that woman. Process it. And you understand, and can feel what they feel. It really is amazing just look at these facts! It invented everything and the stories of how everything came to be. Makes machines of death Landscape portraits of wonder The architecture of the ages and the means to an end. Yes, it really is amazing. That brilliant pink pulsating pile of human wiring. But, then, if the brain is so amazing, why can't it work out you?
— Kieran Nelson, Feb 06, 2008

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Critiques

weirdelf

weirdelf

18 years 4 months ago

or me

or how to save the planet? I feel this could have been improved by making it more personal, less like a lecture, while engaging our empathy. But that would be a different poem. cheers, Jess
KN

Kieran Nelson

18 years 4 months ago

Thanks Jess. I was actually

Thanks Jess. I was actually thinking of making it more like a lecture, using more "wordy", word...for want of a better word, so that contrast with the last stanza is even more striking. I was going to explain what I wanted to do with the poem, but I suppose if I have to explain it, then it hasn't worked. I shall redo it, I hope you'll take the time to comment on the 2nd draft. Thanks again! Kieran "Mind, how you go!" - Roger McGough's poem for LSD Awareness Week
Q

Quillsvein1

18 years 4 months ago

we will

never work it out, of course. maybe, but probably not. the 4th and 5th stanzas are razor precise and immediately thought provoking; you alternately praise and condemn the wonders of the human mind. then things fall off a little bit, and become didactic. i see the extreme potential in this poem and i would love to see a second version. good job!